POLITICS
Is the word of an Egyptian grocer worth more than that of a minister of the Crown?
BORIS JOHNSON
Thanks to Mr Major's populist instincts we have all been granted — at last! — a means of redress against the elective dicta- torship. Is there any particular government minister who is, in your view, frankly a bit much? Would you rather scream than hear another word from old so-and-so, the men- dacious Tory frontbencher, blathering away on your television screen?
Don't tell me the name. Just do the follow- ing. Ring the office of Mr Richard Ryder, Government Chief Whip, on 071 219 3000, and make some allegations, unfounded alle- gations. Then just wait 24 hours and hey presto! Minister's gone! Say goodbye to another Tory buffoon with the new 'Allega- tion Hotline', part of the Citizen's Charter.
One need not believe in the absolute financial discretion of Mr Neil Hamilton, or share all his views, to think that the Gov- ernment's handling of events this week has bordered on the bizarre; and that, for the first time in a few months, the Prime Minis- ter may again plausibly be accused of weak- ness. Let us analyse the grounds for sacking the Minister for Corporate Affairs. It is not necessary to attach much weight to the `clearance' given by the Cabinet Secretary, Sir Robin Butler. (One imagines that the three-week investigation into cash-for- questions, which does not seem to have involved Mr Fayed, went on more or less the following lines: Butler: I say, Hamilton, this isn't true about you being in the pocket of Mohamed Fayed, is it?
Hamilton: No fear.
Butler: Right-oh. Thank you for being so frank.) Officially cleared, nevertheless, he was. The £4,221.05 'bill' for the six nights of hos- pitality he and his wife Christine accepted at the Paris Ritz was in the public domain, undenied by Mr Hamilton, and did not apparently constitute grounds for extermi- nation. The other allegations against him were rejected, and are the subject of legal proceedings. Pending the outcome, the Prime Minister, reasonably enough, was taking his Hon Friend's word, rather than the ingenious muck-raking of politically motivated hacks.
How curious, then, was Mr Major's reac- tion on Monday night, when person or per- sons unknown told Downing Street of fur- ther allegations. These were also 'unsub- stantiated', Mr Major told the House, but they were enough for Hamilton to be igno- miniously fired. Mr David Hunt, who has taken on Norman Fowler's old job of chief sweeper-up of ordure, went one better. He repeatedly told the BBC and Channel 4 News that these new, lethal calumnies were in fact 'unfounded'.
I see. Aha. These days you can get dis- missed on the strength not just of unsub- stantiated charges but of ones without any foundation at all, baseless, groundless, noth- ing in them whatever. We do not know the identity of this sinister second delator against Mr Hamilton. Most likely Mr Ryder and the whips simply reheated some old material against the witty right-winger. For the sad truth is that what cooked the minister's goose was not so much theallegations, as the style in which he decided to tough it out.
This writer, for one, was deeply cheered by Mr Hamilton's performance with the biscuit at the girl's school; not so Downing Street, apparently. Hamilton attained truly heroic status in my eyes, however, when he made the point that chaps didn't always feel compelled to resign simply because they were forced to fight a libel action: viz. John Major and the unsubstantiated allega- tions in Scallywag concerning a famous cook. 'There is no reason whatever why a minister of the Crown should not remain in office, whilst undertaking libel proceedings . . . Indeed, the Prime Minister did just that,' he said. Touche.
It was, however, an almost insanely cocky baiting of a touchy Prime Minister, and a few hours later, it was farewell Red Box. By that time, though, Mr Hamilton was already long sunk in the eyes of his colleagues at Westminster. Some of the most level-headed MPs were saying, Weeelll, that business in the Ritz, it was a bit de trop . . .
And that is the most hypocritical aspect of all. On a mere £31,000 per year, they all take advantage of their position in one way or another: look at Gerald Kaufman, ser- monising about Hamilton, just back from a `Sure I'm happy. I'm thinking of going into politics.' preposterous trip to Hollywood at the tax- payers' expense. As for the press, jabbering and squawking from their huddle on the high moral ground, the stench of hypocrisy is overwhelming. When you have seen jour- nalists professionally trousering great pads of blank receipts, you will know there is nothing you can teach the media about a good bill. Hacks, yes, even Guardian hacks, are the biggest freeboholics of the lot. And there is nothing new about these Fayed jun- kets. In two separate trips in 1989, more than 150 politicians, socialites and journal- ists, from Dame Jill Knight to Sir Pere- grine Worsthorne, were flown by Fayed to have lunch at the Paris Ritz.
If the whole business shows anything, in fact, it is not how venal British politicians are, but how incorruptible. Mohamed Fayed is furious not because he manipulat- ed MPs of this great country of which he is so proud, but because he failed to manipu- late them. Does he or his brother have a British passport now? Has he expunged the DTI verdict that he dishonestly represented himself and his fortunes to buy the House of Fraser? His 'sleaze' allegations arise from a clash between the Arab and the Anglo-Saxon cultures. Your average British politician feels no compulsion to return an uncovenanted benefit. 'I say! A hamper. Very decent of you.' (To wife: Awfully generous, these Johnnies ') But it is a trib- ute to the British national meanness that receipt of presents sets up no obligation. For a man like Fayed, brought up to the wmaayisIoofuth.e souk, mere acceptance is a for- One is almost tempted to sympathise with the owner of Harrods, who this Week inadvertently revealed in a taped conversa- tion with 'Tiny' Rowland that he proposes to travel to a clinic in America for penis, enlargement. But, without wishing to sound more than usually pompous, there is a seri- ous problem in our polity that respect for MPs is falling. We do need to clear up whether they should be mere political hacks, on higher salaries, or whether they should remain in any kind of financial con- tact with the outside world.
deprecating ingMor Major vvaej sotrmihna ss t edronheonwoetvheinr ,gbfyo for the stand the word of a minister of the Crown favour of that of an Egyptian grocer.
Boris Johnson writes for the Daily TelegraPh
Previous page
