YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. I have a friend who is a compulsive anecdotalist. His anecdotes are always hilariously funny and he tells them very Well, yet there is a limit to the number one wants to hear at any one time. Quite apart from the fact that I find my face begins to hurt from the strain of wearing an 'amused' expression as I listen for up to five minutes at a time before the punchlines, I would rather like to get a word in edgeways myself occasionally — as would most of the others Who are usually present at the literary lunches where this man is at his worst. He is normally sensitive but seems quite unable to control himself where anecdotes are con- cerned. Can you suggest a method of halt- ing the flow without actually blowing a Whistle? C.f., Oxford A. Anecdotalists must remember that three short ones in succession are the maximum permissible, no matter how good the mate- rial available. Gaps must be allowed to enable others to air their own views or resentment will build up. One reliable method of distracting a runaway anecdotal-
18 to start pulling some alarming faces. Retract the lips, bare the teeth and gums and move the jaw from side to side while repeatedly screwing up your eyes and then relaxing them again. The anecdotalist will soon be distracted and will interrupt him- self to ask you what is wrong. You can then reply, 'Nothing at all. I'm enjoying the anecdotes very much. I'm just using the time constructively by following my ten- point facial exercise work-out.' This should throw him off his stride for long enough to allow someone else the opportunity to dominate the table.
Q. I have engaged an enormously helpful little chap to assist me with my personal administration. I have a lot of non-urgent correspondence and the like, which waits for weeks at a time to be dealt with and makes me feel a constant sensation of mild guilt. So enjoyable is the company of my new secretary, however, that we often
spend half the time he is with me just laughing and chatting. As he is such a con- scientious little chap, he then refuses to let me pay him properly at the end of the day. He says, 'But we weren't working all the time.' (He is on an hourly rate.) How can I put a stop to this unsatisfactory situation?
D. M. R.,Wilts A. Pay the little chap a full day's wages in advance as he walks through the door. As he is conscientious, it will then be up to him to make sure he earns the money before you have the laughing and chatting. If he does not, at least it will be he who feels uncomfortable and not you.
Q. I have recently been appointed god- father to the child of some particularly close friends. What present can you sug- gest? I cannot afford school fees but I like the idea of a continuing input into the boy's life rather than a once or twice a year input.
S.N.H., Altrincham, Cheshire A. Why not take out Bupa insurance on your godchild's behalf? This ranges in price from £5.66 per month to £26.49.
Mary Killen
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