" San Fairy Ann "
The Wipers Times. With a foreword by Lord Plumer. (Eveleigh Nash and Grayson. 8s. 6d.) To all who have been along the Menin Road, who have tramped the mud of Neuve Eglise, or waited for zero hour on the Somme—the P.B.I, in short—the Wipers Times (" with which is incorporated the New Church Times, the Nemmel Times, the Somme Times and the Better Times ") will bring back memories that no more sophisticated narrative could evoke.
"Much has been changed, but never the roads.
Each may be different, yet each the same. The same damned pay, the same damned loads, And fewer return by the road we came."
But equally for those who were not privileged to bear the burden and cold of those days, Colonel Roberts, the Editor, and his cheerful colleagues can summon many a well-known figure from the mists of fifteen years ago. We recognize, for instance, a distinguished contributor to the Spectator, whose brilliant despatches are here rather unkindly parodied, although we suspect that " Mr. Teech Bomas " was meant to represent the whole race of war correspondents rather than a single individual. Then there is " Horatorio Tumley," now writing no more, but those of us who remember his articles can recognize the headings, " Quit this Fooling—A Business Trench Wanted," and the cleverness of the following parody of the writer's style :
" Curse them all There—I've said it, that's straight from the shoulder. Curse them all I And in years to come motherless babes and babyless mothers will echo my cry. Daunt their procrastinating habits and their futile compromises. Why cannot the People be told the whole troth ? Why hide it from them ? I can hear the cry echoing down the ages, Why ? But I will give them a word of advice. Be careful. Be very careful."
Here is some vitriolic advice to " Mr. James So and Such" who " thinks that our soldiers are drinking too much " " Leave the Tommy alone, Mr. James So and Such, There are vices much nearer home awaiting your touch. Take yourself now, for instance, examine and see If your own priggish virtue is all it should be. Give those of a larger life chance to enjoy A charity wider than that you employ."
The sentiment is generally better than the verses, no doubt, but Mr. Gilbert Frankau turned out some neat and witty rhymes : " I had a vision yesternight. The great advance was finished, Right was triumphant over Might, But both were much diminished . . ."
and the House of Commons, in Mr. Frankau's dream, had passed " marital martial law " : " Each man to have a minimum Of five and twenty wives With power of adding to that sum . . 'Twee at St. Margaret's, Westminster, The witching hour of noon By warrant from Lord K—t—n—r I married my platoon."
But the remainder of his adventures must be sought in the New Church Times. To give excerpts from " Ruby N. Dares'
thrilling serial, ' From Bugler Boy to Brigadier—A Tale of the Great War,' " or to quote from " Mr. Bellary Helloe on "How to Win the War," would take up too much space : we must find room, however, for two advertisements which give, as Lord Plumer says of the whole volume, a vivid impression of that spirit of slightly sardonic humour, with unending courage, which animated the men who held Ypres, and made a page of our history whose glory nmst grow as it is seen in its right perspective " Fos EXCHANGE. A SALIENT, in good condition. Will exchange for a pair of pigeons, or a canary.—Apply, Lonely Soldier, Hoeg," The above appeared in the issue of March 20th, 7916 ; in May of the same year we find the following epitome of trench life: "PROFESSOR DODOIT'S ACADERY.
You surely cannot put up with the old-fashioned sleepy dances ? No, then move with the times and join our class. 1Ve guatanteu to teadr you all the newest steps in six lessons. These include tho Duck-Board Dangle, the Machine Gun Slither, the Whirr Bang Hop and the Crump Crawl, etc., etc. Courses are continuout day and night. Parties of 100 or more specially catered for."
Much of the Wipers Times and subsequent papers was brought out actually under gunfire : at one time the composing-room was within 700 yards of the enemy. To judge by the good results, a few bombs would improve the quality of our post-War journals.
As good, and as reminiscent of the real War, is Songs and Slang of the British Soldier, with an able introduction by Mr. Brophy which sums up all that we shall ever know of the manner in which our men invented their songs and parodies. The book is in two parts, with two appendices : first the songs, then the slang, and a discussion of it by both authors ; with " Chants and Sayings " and " Songs accompanying bugle calls" in conclusion. Of the term " San Fairy Ann " the authors write : "An extremely popular phrase, approximated into English front the French fa as _fad rim. As the intelligence of the soldier penetrated year after year the infinite layers of bluff and preten- tiousness with which military tradition enwrapped the conduct of the war, so his cynicism increased, became habitual . . . Let the Quartermaster make an income from surreptitiously vended food and clothing, let the Divisional General order a hopeless raid in order to make a C.M.G. for himself, let Johnny Cold Feet wangle a cushy job at the base, lot anything happen, the only appropriate comment was San Fairy Ann."
The above, with its too-bitter comment on the Old Army, is a typical extract from what is nevertheless a very valuable book, and one which all who collect War literature will want to buy, and keep. What other army in the world would have gone into battle singing heartily to the tune of " The Church's One Foundation " " We are Fred Karno's army, The ragtime infantry.
We cannot fight, wo cannot shoot, What earthly use are WO "
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