AFTERTHOUGHT

Himmler at home

J, WELLS and J. FORTUNE

The Governor's Residence, Belsen Con- centration Camp, June, 1943. An imposing doorway, surmounted by a bronze eagle and a swastika, with steel-helmeted sentries at either side. Lord Haw-Haw enters left, wearing a lightweight suit, a boldly-striped shirt, and carrying a microphone.

HAW-HAW Good evening, hello, and wel- come to Belsen. In a few moments we shall be privileged to step through these magnifi- cent ... er doors and meet Heinrich Himm- ler. But first Frau Himmler herself has been really super in offering to show us round this magnificent ...er famous build- ing. So follow me.

Harsh screaming of commands and the stamping of boots as the doors open, re- vealing a darkened entrance hall. Haw-Haw goes in, and the camera follows. Cut to the interior, where Frau Himmler waits, a sweet smile playing about her face.

HAW-HAW Super to see you again. Frau Himmler. may we begin with just a few questions about this truly magnificent ... complex of buildings?

FRAU HIMMLER Of course. Most of the furniture, the lampshades and so on, is provided by the German government, but I try to make it as much like home as I can.

HAW-HAW And if I may say so, you have succeeded magnificently.

FRAU HIMMLER This is the chair that Signor Mussolini sat in when he came to visit us. HAW-HAW He certainly seems to have stamped it with his personality.

They both laugh. Lord Haw-Haw shyly pats Frau Himinler on the bottom, and they pass into the next room.

HAW-HAW And what happens here?

FRAU HIMMLER This is the gold and silver ballroom. It's a bit large for Heinrich and me and the family, but it comes in very handy for receptions when the Fuehrer comes, Christmas parties for the staff, that sort of thing. And Signor Mussolini took a cocktail here on the occasion of his visit. HAW-HAW Absolutely super. And now, you must realise how much we all love and cherish your husband for his really magnifi- cent qualities—no, honestly, he's super— which single one of these qualities would you say has most contributed to making him the man he is today?

FRAU HIMMLER I think his courage, really. It isn't easy, when a lot of people are call- ing you all sorts of unkind things, to go on doing what you believe is right.

HAW-HAW Magnificent. And what, I won- der, about the lovely stuffed vulture over the... er preserves?

FRAU HIMMLER Oh, that was a present from Signor Mussolini. He gave it to us on the occasion of his last visit. Heinrich is in the Observation Room. Shall we go down and join him?

HAW-HAW That would be super.

They go through a doorway. During the break there is a brief but glamorous com- mercial for a nose-straightening cream, and we rPturn to a stud, when Herr Himmler

sits polishing his glasses behind a large desk.

HAW-HAW Hello again. Frau Himmler was just showing me the photos on the stairs. HIMMLER Ha ha. Yes indeed.

FRAU HIMMLER Well 111 leave you two together then.

Frau Himmler smiles and withdraws. Hintntler replaces his glasses, and ushers Lord Haw-Haw into a low chair.

HAW-HAW if I may begin, Herr Reichs- fuehrer, with a question, what's the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to you?

HIMMLER Well, you know, I think it was being born, as I was, into a devout Catholic family as the son of a Bavarian schoolmaster. Because I think it was then, in that very religious atmosphere that I first became aware, I think, in a very im- mature way, of the problems, yes the evils, that confront us today.

HAW-HAW You were, I believe, a Boy Scout. HIMMLER Yes, I was. And you know, I don't often get angry, but there is still one thing that makes me hopping mad, and that's cruelty to animals. I've said some pretty harsh things about that in my time, and I don't care who knows it.

HAW-HAW Superb. I was just saying to Frau Himmler that of all the tremendous qualities for which we hug you in our hearts, courage is perhaps the one we most admire. We pray to God that you will live almost indefinitely, of course, but if you are to be remembered for one thing, would it be this?

HIMMLER I think it is. I have of course had to do some very unpopular things. I do them every day. I never expected them to be popular. But I fervently believe, and I say this absolutely sincerely, that these sacrifices have to be made if we are to achieve what I believe we all want to achieve, and that is a Germany that will last a thousand years.

HAW-HAW What, apart obviously from your work, makes you happiest, I wonder?

HIMMLER I think it's being with my family, really. You see that's the great advantage of living above the shop, as I call it. It means that at the end of the day I can climb the stair and slam the door on all the people who've been troubling me. And you know, as you will no doubt appreciate coming from a Church background, there's nothing I like more at the week-ends than to get away to the Black Forest with the golf- clubs, and forget about all this in God's fresh air.

HAW-HAW If I can ask you in conclusion an extremely difficult question which you alone may be able to answer, what do you believe that man was put on earth for? HIMMLER Well, I read all the philosophers when I was a student, and I know that what I'm going to say won't appeal to sexual maniacs and criminals against society, but I like to think that I belong to the perhaps unfashionable school of Heidelberg Idealists. I believe that we were put on earth with a purpose, and God being my guide, and with the assistance of my family and my wonderful comrades in the ss. I hope to achieve it.

HAW-HAW Wonderful. Herr Reichsfuehrer, thank you.

As the picture fades Himmler is seen finger- ing a pair of calipers and looking narrowly

of sniffing Lord Haw-Haw