2 JULY 1994, Page 24

If I look rite down I can c thi flat

green valey that is this alure but I xpect nun ov this terminoloji meens much if u doan no mutch about cassils.

Or even if you do, young fellow. And yet while his spelling would test even the most progressive of our English teachers, Bas- cule still has a way with the archaic tongue. He doesn't just suspect that there's a good chance he will 'get pattid on thi bonce aggen'; he thinks it will happen 'like as knot'.