THE SPEAKING ANIMALS: CHASING TAILS.
WIZEN Venus, yielding to the prayers of the enamoured youth, changed the form of his cat into that of a girl, the goddess did
not or could not change its feline propensities ; puss would be mousing still. And animals though endowed with speech, and seated in conclave to discharge senatorial duties, will act much in the same manner as if they were dumb. Kittens and young puppies are fond of chasing their tai:s. They are surprised with the frisking and wagging of their caudal ap- pendage: they can scarce believe at first that it is merely a part of themselves and not instinct with a separate independent life ; and when satisfied that it belongs to them, they are as proud of it as the peacock of his resplendent train. They fondle it and coquet with it ; they are never tired of making it whisk to and fro; they chase it in giddy gyrations, with as much delight as young men whirl their fair partners in the waltz. What tails are to kittens and puppies, speeches are to young Members of Parliament—ornamental appendages in the estimation of some, ridiculous excrescences in the opinion of others. The first time a half-fledged Member hears his own voice in Parliament, he can hardly believe it is himself who is achieving the feat. When he sees his speech wagging in the mirror of a newspaper, he is like Eve at the fountain. He would always be speaking : if there is no opportunity, he will make one. He gets up make-believe debates;
whirls about before the House in what is called "reasoning in a circle " ; chases his tail, in short, for hours together, with great delight to himself and great weariness to the House and the public; and when he has finished his gambols, if asked what he expects the House to do, coolly replies, "Nothing?' He has had his frisk, and will allow the business of the Legislature to go on. There is a difference, however, to the disadvantage of our speak- ing animals when compared with their feline and canine prototypes. Kittens and puppies, when they become cats and dogs, grow grave and steady—decorous mousers, like the old jobbers of Honourable House, or leaders of a " cat-and-dog-life," like the amateurs of faction-fights. But some tail-chasers of the Legislature, like the shepherd-boy in SYDNEY'S Arcadia, pipe away "as though they should never grow old." Young England may be allowed to be kittenish in virtue of its name, (though Mr. PETER BORTHWICK is a "most tough juvenile,") and its tail-chasing of the present week about Don Catmos will be censured gently. Mr. SHARMAN CRAW- FORD, though not exactly a young man, is a sort of young Member, and some will find an apology for his tail-chasing about the Esti- mates. But Mr. FIELDEN has been long enough in the House to contract more staid and demure habits than to be whisking about such a tail as his tale of controversies with Income-tax Com- missioners; and an old stager like Mr. ROBERT WALLACE ought to be ashamed of such juvenility, whereas he is the most inveterate tail-chaser in the House. For a mortal hour did the garrulous Member for busy Greenock keep the floor of the House in this way on Tuesday, and had the assurance after be had done to tell the spectators that he had been merely tail-chasing for his pri- vate amusement : "he knew it must end in smoke "—meaning that he was aware nobody would second his motion. Mr. E. B. ROCHE was certainly disposed to chase his tail when he suggested that Government ought to have intimated their prohibition of the Clon- tarf meeting by lighting" baal-fires " on the top of Dublin Castle ; and the mere mention of a railroad is enough at any time to set Colonel SIBTHORP a-chasing his tail with railroad velocity.
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