Q. My flatmate recently departed for a fortnight's holiday, leaving
behind several days' worth of dirty plates. When I asked if he'd mind washing them up before going, he replied that he had no intention of doing so. because he knew I'd do them if he left them. In this he was, unfortunately, correct. I am infuriated by this calculated act of selfishness, but do not wish to aggravate the situation. How can I prick his conscience and force an apology for this unacceptable behaviour?
T.M., London W5
A. Go away for a holiday or a weekend yourself, and generate a pile of dishes for your flatmate to clear up in your absence. Smile pleasantly as you leave, pointing out that you are only abiding by the 'house le' he established himself In the ghastly eventuality of his calling your bluff and leaving it to
confront you on your return, you will have to accept that there must be a `Cynthia Payne' aspect to your relationship in which you are unconsciously colluding. Perhaps you should offer to pay him to allow you to wash up all his dishes in future and just have done with it,
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