YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. My niece is employed as a nanny by a well-known media couple who are ostenta- tiously New Labour. They are forever writing about their working-class origins, and one would therefore expect them to be consider- ate employers. However, the opposite is the case and their treatment of my niece is remi- niscent of slave labour. The wife overwhelms her with domestic tasks such as shopping at the delicatessen, preparing meals for dinner parties and clearing up after their famous guests have departed. Also, on a rare occa- sion when she was ill, her wages were imme- diately stopped. She adores the children and they adore her and they would be most dis- tressed were she to leave. She tells me that other nannies experience similar difficulties with high-profile New Labour couples. She has too much integrity to publicly expose their hypocrisy. Could you suggest a way in which she might reacquaint them with the values they write so prolifically about but practise so grudgingly? S.J.W, Ludgershall A. Your niece should start to keep a detailed diary of her day. It should be writ- ten in unresentful, shattered-but-cheerful style. After a week she should present a specimen to her employers, saying guile-
Dear Mary. .
lessly, 'One of your media friends who came to dinner, I can't remember which one, said I ought to contact the person who commissions "A Day in the Life" in the Sunday Times magazine because I have such an interesting job working for well- known people. Do you think this is the sort of thing they would be interested in read- ing? Or should I just keep banging away at the diary for another few weeks until my style improves and then submit it?'
Q. Earlier this year I informed my five chil- dren that I was expecting a windfall in June and would be making a cash gift to each of them. In May one of the children asked me to advance some of the money for a Eurostar shuttle reservation. This I was pleased to do. In late June each of the children was sent a cheque of equal value. The daughter to whom I advanced money has made no offer to refund the advance. How can I deal with this matter without giving offence?
L.M., Peterlee, Co. Durham A. Before you proceed, be aware that you may be suffering from the syndrome of SOUS or, Setting Oneself Up to be Sad- dened, whereby people try to wrongfoot others in a bid to prove themselves morally superior. Then, simply ring your daughter up and say, 'I can't seem to find that post- dated cheque you must have given me for the Eurostar ticket. Did I remember to ask you for one? If I didn't, it is entirely my fault; perhaps you had better put one in the post to me now.'
Q. I note your helpful advice to P.T. (31 May) concerning what you describe as a `portable car loo'. These invaluable appli- ances are not in fact a recent advance; I recall their being advertised in the Sears Roebuck catalogues in the 1940s, when they were called 'Scotch water bottles'. C.B., School of Medicine, Trinity College, Dublin A. Thank you for your thought-provoking letter.
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