YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. .Please suggest a solution to a dilemma which must afflict many of your readers with friends in Norfolk. As Norfolk-visitors will be aware, there are a limited number of People' living in that county, all of them starved of social stimuli, all with overlap- Ping friends. Consequently, there is fierce competition to have people to stay. My hus- band and I accepted an invitation for New Year's Eve from one of the households, only to be met with a torrent of telephone accusations from the others: 'Why are you not staying with us? They've oached you! You were friends with us firspt!', etcetera. We do not really mind which of the six households we stay with since we are bound to see the denizens of the other five while We are up there. So next time we feel we have the energy to make the five-and-a- half-hour trek to Norfolk, how should we hest avoid ruffling feathers?
L.M., Wiltshire 44- Announce your intention to visit the County, then allow the six householders to decide among themselves which ones You should stay with. They can flip coins or pull straws to reach a verdict. By putting the ball in their court in this way, rancour will be reduced all round as fate decides which household you should stimulate. Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? It may well be that all experienced parents are familiar with this old chestnut, but, as a first-time parent, I was delighted to be able to put it to use over the festive season. We were staying with friends and I had been dreading my two-year-old son having to sit up at smart tables all beautifully laid with silver and, more particularly, stiff white linen tablecloths, which I could foresee he would despoil, thus requiring the whole 2Dft-long table to be changed after every `meal'. Fortunately, our understanding host showed me that tablecloths can be protect- ed from toddlers by placing an unobtrusive but protective layer of linen napkins just under the toddler's place and around his immediate area. This meant that any splat- tered linen could be bundled up and taken away with minimal effort immediately the meal was finished. I thought other readers might welcome this advice.
MC., London SW11 A. Indeed. New parents will be very grate- ful to you.
Q. My husband slurps when he drinks hot liquids. It is too late to retrain him since his mother virtually required the children to slurp. She has often told me that she finds the sound cheering 'because it means they are really enjoying their dfinks'. Slurping is anathema to everyone on my side of the family, so what should I do, Mary?
C.W, Dorset A. It is not too late. Perhaps you have noticed that it is very difficult to slurp cap- puccino through the hole in the lids of takeaway receptacles. Bulk-buy some take- away containers for domestic use and you will soon retrain your husband to associate drinking hot liquid with tipping it into his mouth rather than introducing it by suction.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Dear Mary, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, Lon- don WC1N 2LL.
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