A NEW COMPETITION

The Editor offers a prize of £5 for a report, in not more Than five hundred words exclusive of quotations, upon the following entries for the previous competition. The prize will be awarded to the competitor whose report seems to be the best, whether the competitor's judgment agrees with the majority or not ; but the prize in the previous competition will be given to the writer whose new "Biography for Beginners" finds most favour with our readers.

MR. STEPHEN GWYNN.

Mr. Stephen Gwynn

Keeps telling people what a mess Ireland is in. When they ask him to explain

He says it all over again.

ARCHBISHOP LAUD.

Archbishop Laud Had never read Tennyson's Maud : That is why Cardinal NOWNIall

Seems so much more human.

Com( D. B. Ezus.

THOMAS CARLYLE.

Thomas Carlyle Was a martyr to bile But Adam Smith and Mill Also made him ill. D. B. WARDLE.

Las D. SANKEY AND D. L. MOODY.

Said Sankey to Moody,

"They're too goody-goody."

Said Moody to Sankey, "Came, no hanky-panky."

MARIAN OUTRAM (MTS.).

Ma. J. C. Somitz.

Mr. J. C. Squire

Watched the Moon rising higher.

"This is interesting, but slow," he confessed, And retired to rest. JESSIE S. BOYD.

THE ARCHBISHOP OF YORK.

The Archbishop of York Bought a bath-mat made of cork, Thinking that this might be better Than the rubber one, which somehow felt wetter.

JESSIE S. BOYD.

E ucr.m. When Euclid asked Ptolemy "Do you follow me ? " That King said,

"Yes—if you're going to bed." HALF/L.

Sr. FRANCIS OF ASSISI.

St. Francis of Assisi Was incapable of taking things easy.

This is one of the advances We have made upon St. Francis. Ansrritn. BERYL EGERTON.

Jorra Doz-rxx. John Donne.

Was having fearful fun When he found out

He was incorrigibly devout. PARNASSUS.

DR. WrLLIAM PALEY:

Dr. William Paley Might have gone through life quite gaily But theological vanity Made him write "The Evidences of Christianity."

PROXENOS.

RULES FOR COMPETITORS.

1. All entries must be received on or before Friday, March 5th. 2. Competitors may send in as many entries as they wish, but each entry must be accompanied by one of the coupons to be found on page 198 of this issue.

3. The name and address (or the pseudonym) of every com- petitor must be written clearly at the foot of his manuscript.

4. The Editor cannot return any manuscript submitted for the competition, nor can he enter into correspondence with competitors. 5. The Editor reserves the right of printing any manuscript submitted.

O. Envelopes must be addressed : Competition, the Spectator, 13 York Street, Covent Garden, London, W.C. 2.