30 JULY 2005, Page 43

Q. A friend of mine is married to a soldier

who thinks of himself as rather macho. The problem is that he has a very effeminate voice, so when I ring my friend I am never sure if it is him or her as neither of them gives their name when answering the phone. His self-image would not survive being mistaken for a woman, even telephonically. How can I avoid confusing him for her?

K.C., Perth, Western Australia A. You need only open the call by announcing your own name and then saying, ‘What have you been up to today? Is this a good time for me to ring?’ Your interlocutor’s reply should give you all the clues you need to establish his/her identity.