MORE TORTURED CREATURES
I" If these tortured creatures cannot obtain rights . . ." Herr Hitler at Nuremberg] ASHORT time ago our great Llyw, or leader, complained. that all that was lacking to our claim for Welsh autonomy was a Hitler to back them up. At that time we all agreed. Indeed we never disagree with the Llyw ; he is always right. But now things have changed and we need no Hitler, for to our great joy Mr. Chamberlain, The Times itself; and thousands of others have at last seen the great truths behind the principles of self-determination.
Of course, it puzzles us a little that only a month or two ago Mr. Chamberlain refused to grant even a Home Office to Wales, and when we burned the aerodrome at Pwllheli The Times did not seem to understand we were expressing our desire for self-government. But all that is past, and indeed we realise that the lack of sympathy we found was largely due to our own errors. We had gone quietly about our business, as if it were not a searing shame that we were not allowed to speak Welsh in Parliament or that many of our officials not merely cannot speak Welsh but are not Welsh at all. And we had failed to formulate our demands clearly, precisely, and concretely. '
This has now been rectified, and our noble Llyw, though still suffering from months of torture in an English gaol, has drawn up a programme to present to Mr. Chamberlain immediately after he has freed the Germans,- Poles and Hungarians. We are -hoping that our Indian, Scottish, African, French-Canadian comrades will follow our lead- and allow the English to give the world other examples of political reforms carried out by peaceful change. What is more, we have at last learned to speak English in a way the English themselves will understand.
Our programme, now famous as the Cwmscwt demands, has eight points. That is all we can think of at present, but when they are granted we can think of some more. The programme will serve as a basis for negotiation.
i. Local autonomy for Wales. We will permit a plebiscite in Herefordshire.
2. Welsh speaking officials in proportion to population.
3. Welsh to be an official language.
4. Reconstruction of the depressed areas, deliberately ruined by the English.
5. A Welsh Parliament with complete control of finance and the armed forces. The Llyw to be a member of the English Cabinet and General Staff.
6. England to break her alliance with France and reorientate her foreign policy to accord with the needs of Welsh culture.
7. Compensation for all the injuries done since the days of Edward I.
8. Freedom to profess Welsh philosophy. (This is purely racial and has affinities with Communism, Calvinism, Capitalism and Pacifism. It is a logical deduction froni our great Celtic principle that the English are a zoological species rather than human beings.) These demands can easily be increased when Mr. Cham- lain grants them, as he surely must do now. When the wyth punciau, as we call them, were proclaimed, amidst the enormous enthusiasm of our starving and oppressed people, at Cwmscwt, the Llyw further clarified them in the following words : " Long enough have the Cymry groaned under the whips of the English criminals. But no longer. I have decided. It is up to Chamberlain now. Great Britain is a historical anomaly, a geographical abiurdity, a crazy mixture of races such as could only have emanated from the criminal brain of the lunatic Edward I. Enough of this Utopia, this madman's dream. The time for lies is over. A race of 5o million Celts cannot be insulted to all eternity by the presence at the head of the Scotch-Welsh-Norman-Saxon State of the senile murderer Chamberlain and the bribed pigmies who write for him the•obscenities of The Times. Let him decide now. Let him realise that a race of troglodytes and cannibals with no knowledge of music cannot forever oppress a great people. I have myself made great sacrifices for peace. • Two years ago I proclaimed before all the world I would never lay claim to the Welsh colony in Patagonia and thus brought security to the great South American continent. Let others sacrifice now. "
We were all very pleased with this speech, because it put our position clearly and finally and especially because we felt that the Llyw had struck exactly the right note to convince all honest men in England of the justice and moderation of our demands. Of course, the Cwmscwt programme does not go far enough and even the Llyw has difficulty in restraining us from asking for more now. We are an immensely brave and iron-willed people. But the Llyw is right, as always ; when the moment comes we can easily demand secession to our brother Celts in the Free State, and the expulsion of all Englishmen from Wales. We shall of course take over all English property, including the mines, steel works, and armament factories. It is rather unfortunate we have to refer to Chamberlain as a senile murderer, because it is he who is going to free us. But the Llyw has to speak the truth always and now in the generosity of his fervour for self-determination Chamberlain will be great-hearted enough to overlook trivial insults. The Llyw told me he likes Chamberlain really.
ap Richard, Deputy Llyw.