30 SEPTEMBER 1989, Page 52

COMPETITION

Lights verse

Tom Castro

My head is still reeling. In Competi- tion No. 1593 you were challenged to incorporate as many clues as possible, from the crossword on the same page, into as many as 14 lines of verse. Talk about free association! Your fantasies generally cen- tred on a tropical island. And it was noteworthy that many entries contained the word 'mad'.

The more clues you tried to include the more difficult it was to understand the result. Charles F. Garvey almost wove a seamless robe of clues, though the result was too fantastical and too little like verse to make him a winner. D. B. Jenkinson produced 'another sonnet found in a de- serted madhouse', making use of 26 answers from the crossword solution, which isn't quite what I wanted.

Bad luck, T. Griffiths, who wrote at too great a length (just) to qualify, Mrs D. A. Van-Cauter, who broke away from the pack with a poem on Becket, Richard Watts and Elizabeth Ashman. Those printed below win £15 each, with the bonus bottle of Cognac Otard VSOP, donated by the Château de Cognac, going to 0. Smith. That may be a consolation for his typewri- ter having gone on strike.

Thirty-six is rash, perhaps, thus to confront someone, Painting up a tree in symbolic wear, Dressed like a mermaid with tail of a sea-fish Or nymph of the woodland with leaves in her hair.

That who abroad outwardly displays a heavenly body Must be of noble birth it is frequently said, But thus to court a parent's foreign relative Will instigate a counter-irritant instead.

This geological feature of the Iberian penin- sula Is to be avoided in summer by those who dress obscenely; If the magistrates decline to eject from an island It's the cells for a plucky one in a string-like bikini!

They venerate some native worker embraced by Eastern saint; Dress in sober, nun-like garments you'll never cause complaint. (0. Smith) You want to go camping? It's always to be Avoided in summer (or near the M3): It leads to a definite wish to eject From an island of tents — and a holiday wrecked.

You join side by side in amount unbeliev- able Hundreds of people in gear inconceivable. You might think you're stuck on a vast Mothers' Union's Turn to manage a meeting of masses of loony 'uns. So don't just imagine it's an honour to take on A king of a caravan: just put the brake on! I suppose it's O.K. for one longing to be and A breadwinner taking his home to the sea, But if you are going you might instigate a Counter-irritant person like Sylvia's mater. (Laurence Fowler) Her favourite hobby? Painting up a tree In symbolic wear (canvas and sable cap). Earth's major race she draws as parody. Critics dismiss her work — 'a load of crap To be avoided.' In summer she delights In images of court (a parent's foreign). Relative to this she also writes Original documents — a florin Buys one. She's mad, of course. Like a sea-fish Or nymph of doubtful virtue on the shore Will only hear the waves echo her wish, And shuns the modern message: score, score, score. (D. A. Prince) Pood-wise America's taken to heart Granola, decaf and the pseudo-quiche tart. But will dieting handicap earth's major race?

Will it weaken its arm by not filling its face? And expensive! A burger at one ninety- five (Plus the regular trade tax) will keep you alive, But some skimpy example of nouvelle cuisine Will swallow your dough as it renders you lean.

Those slimline Americans — in need, perhaps, Of hydrocarbon — are pitiful chaps. They mentally set side by side in amount All their picayune meals, do a calory count, Then nibble away at a bony sea-fish Or nymph, or just algae eye-dropped in a dish. (Basil Ransome-Davies) St George and the Dragon 'Twere an honour to take on such a king As Charles will be, but I would have him score, Score, score in architecture less, and more On litter-louts and vandals, not to bring The pillory full back, as hotheads sing, Who'd grab a handful first of broken stones, But to eject from an island that groans The dragon root from which such mischiefs spring.

Slay bully violence and the watching tide That having stood around again withdrew. Charge like Saint George and Bunyan's Valiant.

The Prince and Churches working side by side In amount could downweigh the dragon's crew, And instigate a counter-irritant.

(George Moor)