31 AUGUST 1991, Page 37

No. 1694: Banjo dreams

The other night, in a state of great relaxa- tion, I wrote the following in the spirit of `Banjo' Patterson, 'the Bard of the Bush':

I've been bossman and tuan and bwana From Hobart to Ballyporeen, I've come first in a Kent gymkhana Disguised as a girl of sixteen, Held a bank up with a banana, And proposed on the phone to the Queen.

Three more fantastic, boastful sestets, please. Entries to 'Competition No. 1694' by 13 September.