A GENUINE COCKNEY.
THE Morning Herald has the art of saying things which would never have occurred to any writers or readers but those pertain- ing to the organ of Ceclugne. In describing the review in Hyde Park, the ingenious reporter states- " About one o'clock, towards the close of the review, considerable con- sternation and anxiety were produced on beholding a horse, without a rider, proceeding wildly in front of the Blues, as if he had a itlazeppa' lashed to his back."
It is beautifully clear, how much a horse without a rider must have appeared as if he had a Mazeppa lashed to his back. The very absence of the essential makes the likeness. A horse with- out a rider most powerfully reminds a Herald observer of a horse whose peculiar condition it is to have a rider bound to his back. This is ingenious, and indicates a fancy independent of Ciieum- 'Stance's'. -A landscape would suggest to the same imagination the idea of .a ship ; and it would not fail, in viewing the ocean, to find appearances of cultivation or harvests. We heard a genuine Cockney observe of a boy swimming a little boat in a puddle, " That lad reminds me of Neptune." The imaginations of these people are very great on very small occasions. But let us proceed with the review- " After the Artillery had been stationed under the walls for about half an hour, they suddenly commenced a smart and irregular firing, which they maintained with amazing activity and force for about a quarter of an hour or twenty minutes." How did the force show itself? We can understand the ac- tivity of a fire of blank cartridge, but its force is not so easily corn prehensible. " The crowd at the greatest distance was startled by the sudden and actively-continued bursts of the cannon; and, hardly believing the evidence of their senses, they started from the ranks of the review's outposts to see the cannon fired off ! "
" Hardly believing the evidence of their senses!" It was in- deed scarcely credible that guns should be fired on a review-day; and sure we are that the artillerymen did not expect those bursts of the cannon of which the reporter speaks. Was it too technical to write reports ? On Royal popularity, as indicated in the shouts of a rabble, the Herald observes-
" When popularity, when the good-will of the people, may be so easily secured, it is truly wonderful that our Kings are not the most popular people in the nation."
How many of our Kings are there ; and how many of our Kings make up the people of kings who should be most popular? A stranme appearance—very strange indeed—was remarked by the Herald at thereview ; for in Hyde Park nothing could be seen but empty bottles, cans, and baskets. Not a soldier or a spectator was visible! Bottles, cans, and baskets, entirely possessed the ground! " The effects of the heat in Hyde Park were such, that the various liquids, fruits, &c. conveyed thither, were consumed ; and, strange to say, in all directions nothing- could be seen but empty bottles, cans, and baskets. It is consistent, that he who described a horse without a rider as though a horse with a Mazeppa lashed to his back, shotdd'see in a field crammed with 150,000 people, 7,000 troops, a king, and some other trifling state-officers, nothing but empty bottles, cans, and baskets.
This report is certainly particularly delightful in its way of ab- surdity ; but we may observe, generally, of accounts requiring any slight degree of technical knowledge, that they are lamentably ill done. For instance, how it must wound military eyes, in this very report, to see companies of cavalry mentioned! Nautical - matters are more absurdly maltreated than military. In an ac- count of a sailing-match, this week, we see it stated that the tide had swung (for turned). Craft at anchor is said to swing with the turn of tide, but this word is inapplicable to the tide itself, Sailing-matches are generally described in the language of the turf.: Craft come "rattling up,". and "make play." As well night the scribes write of the St. Leger horses as " gathering way," and "walking " through the course to the Chace. Techni- calities should either be accurate, or avoided ; for where they are understood, their misuse is ridiculous, and where they are not un- derstood, there can be no Use in employing them.
Previous page
