Sir: Mr Auberon Waugh's article about the search of our
orifices at police discretion rather worries me. I am inclined sPontaneously to fart a bit when nervous or excited, and though I can keep from Making a rude noise, I have gotten Into trouble over this before. Specifically, when I was being inducted into the Navy for Korean War service, I farted full in the face of an examining physician, a lieutenant commander, and was muscled a bit by attendant petty officers and thrown into the brig for disrespect, to stay there indefinitely pending psychiatric examination. It took two weeks to get out. At 52, I am, if anything, physically 5on1ewhat less controlled. And the temper of the police having become what it is, I do not like to think of the possible consequences. I am particularly liable to suspicion and search, as I farted crepitously not long ago when being presented to Mr Alex Fletcher, then Scottish Secretary for Education, on the occasion of his visit to °Ur school. His minions at the Scottish Office tended to receive this as an expression of disfavour, and dissent from governmental education policies, with Which I have not expressed oral agreement ,either, It was very embarrassing and too bad, really: a weakness or disability not
affecting the quality of my work and devotion to duty is considered intolerable in a minor civil servant like myself, whilst politely accepted in a horse under Princess Anne. I feel there are some misplaced values here.
John Witney
27 Melville Street, Pollokshields, Glasgow
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