3 AUGUST 1996, Page 41

High life

Going for gold

Taki

Gstaad Just before he left for Atlanta and the masking agent games, I had a drink with ICing Constantine of Greece, and he expressed his concern about the city's abili- ty to cope. If memory serves, he even men- tioned the name of Billy Payne, the big chief of the games, saying Billy boy had a rough road ahead of him.

This must be the understatement of the decade. Payne gives me the impression of a typical southern flim-flam man, one who makes Scheherazade seem laconic by com- parison. Payne and company were those Who sold the IOC on Atlanta, rather than My birthplace. One of their better snake- oil sales was the one about Atlanta's sum- mer temperature. They said it ranges between 71 and 75 degrees fahrenheit. That is true. It used to, during the Ice Age.

But Payne and the humidity is the least of my problems. What I fmd totally unac- ceptable is the oppressive commercialism and the shameful coverage of NBC. If it's American it's OK, if it's not, why not? The gloating by those blow-dried poseurs who Pass as sports commentators on American television makes one want to apply instant sedation with a right cross on their capped teeth.

The nadir is reached time and time again as the ridiculously over-talented Afro- nightmare team wipes weak opponents off the map to the chauvinistic cheers of USA! USA! They should change the rules and spot the basket on the floor, and then see 'hat those geeks can do against the short- ies they've been bullying. Now some of you may think I'm a racist because of my extreme dislike for black American athletes' manners. And you'd be Wrong. It has nothing to do with their colour. African athletes such as the Kenyans, the Ethiopians, the Qataris and those from the Middle East, have shown great sportsmanship as well as dignity in both victory and defeat. They do not argue, do not try to intimidate and do not go around glaring and questioning every call. They do not cheer-lead for themselves, a new phenomenon this year.

As in everything else happening in America today, the powers that be encour- age American professional athletes deliber- ately to adopt boorish and street-wise behaviour. The words sportsmanlike con- duct are equivalent to loser. Do your own thing, say their coaches, use the language you like, be violent if need be, most impor- tant of all try to bend the rules in order to win.

Mind you, it's not only Afro-Americans who treat the sports arena as a brothel. America's sweetheart Janet Evans mis- judges the speed of her 400-metre heat, fin- ishes ninth, and then accuses Michelle Smith of cheating. What about the other seven? In boxing, the US coaches com- plained about biased scoring in all of the five American losses. Great example for the young, says yours truly. When you lose, blame the ref.

Four years ago in Barcelona, Gwen Tor- rence finished fourth in the 100-metre dash and proudly announced in a press confer- ence that everyone who beat her was on drugs. All three medal winners tested nega- tive, but that's not the point. As in terror- ism, the baddies are far ahead of the good guys.

Never before have so many people felt so much self-pity as they do in America today, and never before are so many people con- vinced they are victims. Even multi-million- aire athletes, starting with the great provider of his family, the British track and field captain. Oy vehi Yet it would have been impossible not to get carried away with the drama that sport provides. Starting with the Greeks, who for the first time since 1896 took as of this writing four gold and three silver medals, which is three more gold than the Brits. But it was two Brits, Jonathan Edwards and Roger Black, both fantastic athletes and even greater sportsmen, who won sil- ver medals only because• they came up against almost inhuman black talent, yet warmly congratulated the winners and made no excuses.

They and the German hurdler Florian Schwarthoff, an architect, are what the games should be all about (all three are straight out of Chariots of Fire). They and their kind — and there were many — are the epitome of aristocracy, the best in their field! The rest are a bunch of money-grub- bing freaks of nature who should compete among themselves for American television but only after 9 o'clock, just before the porno channels come on.

Jeffrey Bernard and Leanda de Lisle return next week