3 FEBRUARY 1956, Page 12


A friend has collected for me twenty-eight new sorts of cards, which you can now send to save yourself the trouble of writing a letter. For instance, there are seven different cards to send if you forget someone's birthday, each with a little rhyme, and there are ones for 'Bon Voyage,' Thank you for your gift of flowers,' Thank you for your hospitality;' A parting gift from all of us' and just `To thank you most sincerely.—Wishing you well again,' Good luck in your new home' and 'Wishing you success in your examination,' and a birthday card 'A Hundred Years Today' (which must have restricted circulation). The most nauseating is 'My Autobiography,' which runs:

I was born on (And I don't do much but doze!) I weighed just (That's without my clothes!) My parents named me (Without asking MY advice!) And I think they're going to keep me (For they think I'm pretty nice!)

But the card I am most looking forward to sending is called `Good wishes for your retirement.' The whole point of this is, I think, that its dispatch should be previous.