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IN COMPETITION NO. 1980 you were invited to construct from the name of an author and the title of one of their works the name of another author and an imagi- nary title of one of his or her works.
In this anagrammatic challenge, by `another author' I meant another real author — otherwise the torture would have been mild.
Ever since my childhood delight on dis- covering that ORCHESTRA and CARTHORSE contained the same letters, I have been enchanted by anagrams. Among the lesser- known masterpieces, I would cite Lewis Carroll's transformation of WILLIAM EWART GLADSTONE into WILD AGITATOR! MEANS WELL and the anonymous QUEEN VICTORIA'S JUBILEE rendered as I REQUIRE LOVE IN A SUBJECT. And I remember my pleasure, watching Christopher Hampton's The Philanthropist on the stage in Seventies, when the words IMAGINE THE THEATRE AS REAL rebounded as I HATE THEE, STERILE ANAGRAM.
A gentle curse on those of you who pro- duced apparently brilliant anagrams which on checking (a tedious task) turned out to be faulty. How strange that two of you, not neighbours, should have both turned HENRY JAmES: THE EUROPEANS into JANE AuSTEN: MY HERPES HERO.
The prizewinners, printed below, get £8 per anagram, and the bottle of Isle of Jura Single Malt Scotch whisky goes to David Edelsten for sheer shock effect.
John Galsworthy: Indian Summer of a Forsyte = Jane Austen: RN Morals: Why I Fight for Sodomy. (David Edelsten) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle: The Hound of the Baskervilles =
Enid Blyton: Rock-Rave Sound: Is the Last Half-
Hour Here? (Philip Irwin) Salmon Rushdie: The Moor's Last Sigh = Thomas Hughes: In Old Masters' Lairs (Charles Chadwick) Reade: The Cloister and the Hearth = Cartland: Three Heroes had Heide (John Owen) Dirk Bogarde: Closing Ranks = Ben Okri: Dr Carling Asks God (J. Boyle)
Anita Brookner: Hotel du Lac = Edna O'Brien: Talk: Oral Touch
Jane Austen: Mansfield Park = P.D. James: A Nine-Funeral Task
Saul Bellow: Henderson the Rain King = Susan Hill: Entering Breakdown Hole
Noel Coward: Private Lives = Peter Levi: 'I Do': Carnal Vows
Bertrand Russell: An Outline of Philosophy = Enid Blyton: No Harp Trio for Shapeless Lulu
Salman Rushdie: The Moor's Last Sigh = Hesiod: A Rough Man's Smallest Shirt
Albert Camus: The Outsider = Robert Musil: Acute Deaths (Alan Gilchrist) J.D. Salinger: The Catcher in the Rye =. Jean Rhys: Decent Girl Hit Teacher
William Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing = Oscar Wilde: I Like Banana Mash: A Thought Poem (Frank McDonald) William Shakespeare: Titus Andronicus = Muriel Spark: Death — Is It a Slow Nuisance?
Ernest Hemingway: The Old Man and the Sea = Andre Gide: Anathema Monthly News-Sheet
To enable competitors to economise on postage, entries for one or more weeks of the competition and/or crossword may be posted together under one cover addressed 'Competition Entries' provided each entry is enclosed in a separate marked envelope. Oliver Wendell Holmes: The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table = Charlotte Brontë: A Haworth Felo De Se: Vil- lette's Fake Album (Uncle Parro) Thomas Hardy: The Mayor of Casterbridge = Adam Smith: Forgery or Debt? A Cash Theory
Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde: The Importance of Being Earnest = Edna O'Brien: The Girls of Erin: A Spoilt Romance with Face-Lifts. Age Well!
(Monica G. Ribon)
No. 1983: Hong Kong song
When Hong Kong leaves us next month, the British Empire will be reduced to a mere 13 'dependencies'. You are invited to write a poem or song for this occasion. Maximum 16 lines. Entries to 'Competition No. 1983' by 15 May.