4 APRIL 1987, Page 52

COMPETITION

Rhopalics (sort of)

Jaspistos

In Competition No. 1465 you were asked for a poem of 10 or 12 lines in tlankish' verse in which the first line consists of four words of one, two, three and four syllables in that order, the next line of words of four, three, two and one syllables in that order, and so on.

Rhopalics (named after the Greek word for 'cudgel', thick at one end and thin at the other) go back a long way. Ausonius (no relation) was the Classical virtuoso, achieving a hexameter poem of 42 lines in this irritating genre — `Spes Deus aeternae stationis conciliator' etc. Boring they may be, but difficult they are; which is why I asked for tlankish' verse. Those gallant enough to enter this competition often failed to produce verse even so loosely defined, but the small core of clever-boots did remarkably well. David Cram would have been among the winners if he'd managed ten lines instead of six. Ba Miller, I. C. Snell, Peter Norman, Felix Stowe and Katie Mallett all get two cheers. Noel Petty, had it not been for 'homeward- following', which I judge to be one word not two, might have won the top prize, but the bonus bottle of gin, the gift of Mr William Topham, ricochets into the hands of Ginger Jelinek, whose amusement value I rated high. He and the other winners below take £12 each.

Unusual Kodachrome pictures came From Agnes yesterday, illustrating Rhinoceros upriver massing for Their species' annual copulation, Compulsively wallowing about in

Their muddy African tributary,

Practically offering themselves as A tourist memento. Embarrassing, Enviably actively virile, they May only congregate infrequently, Scientific observers agree, but They really understand lubricity. (Ginger Jelinek) The curfew prefaces obscurity. Agrarian domestic livestock wends Its homeward-following trajectory, Continuing established social trends.

The gravestones emanate malevolence, Occasioning horrific, morbid fears. Our serfdom, dignity, omnipotence Indifferently encounter bitter biers.

I'll wander villagewards, disconsolate; Conceivably somebody's serving tea. Stoke Poges' spiritless environment Eventually depresses even me. (Noel Petty)

When Digby Anderson's entertaining, Imperative cooking ensures each Course consists entirely, notwithstanding Overwhelming commercial pressures, of ,rresh, English, seasonal ingredients. NMermarket provisions seldom are Seen, Digby preferring traditional Tradespeople — greengrocers, butchers and Such basic suppliers. Surprisingly Education frequently supplants food In Digby's general conversation: Recommending rebuilding grammar schools.

(John Stanley) I didn't understand Pythagoras, Insecurely quivering, watching her Hair convey apparent indifference; Inattentive passionate schoolboy me.

But, although appearing dispassionate, Absolutely studiedly careless of Me; alas, insanely infatuate, Alexandra Pilkington worshipped me.

Love's only requited postdatedly.

Alexandra's surviving sister sent Love's letter, delivered belatedly — Consummation! Overdue sixty years.

(Steven Rowse) Mortality, yellowly trumpet doom To Brenda Rosemary Pratt-Robinson, Eighteen-year-old, virginal, mocking prude Who receives masculine enthusiasm Indifferently. Daffodil, inform her That every Artemis degenerates, Willy-nilly obeying iron laws, To spinster, harridan, great-godmother Etcetera, finally ending up Lone, unloved. Horrible hyphenated Hoity-toity debutantes, beware then! (Deacon Sindlay) Two shabby gentleman adventurers Philosophise obscurely, slightly slewed: 'We'll suppose consciousness accidental, Essentially inchoate,' posits A, 'Thought random, certainty impossible' (Demolishing another brimming pint). `What nonsense! Absolute fiddle-faddle! Cerebration's unerring, precise, clear (The blushful Hippocrene notwithstanding), Impeccable instrument,' counters B. They, donning overcoats reluctantly, Unsteadily staggering, stumble home.

(Gerard Benson) Stray among Manhattan's architecture Absorbingly, borrowing Whitman's eyes.

All fashions celebrate diversity: Eldorado, Dakota, Empire State Throw skyward various materials, Alabaster, isinglass, marble, chrome, Beech, granite, anything. America Predominates. Cultural power shows In buildings projected ambitiously, Outlandishly — grotesquely? Perhaps, but What Whitman trumpeted superior Necessitates serious respect. Right?

(Basil Ransome-Davies)