YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. I am finding it increasingly difficult to get hold of sock suspenders. I deem them to be an essential item of clothing as my calves are rather long and I do not like to see an expanse of flesh (in my case, hairless white flesh) when trousers 'ride up' as they are wont to do. The problem of course is compounded by the difficulty of finding long socks to buy. Can you help, dear Mary, as I know you are sympathetic to the prob- lems of old gentlemen?
J.G.H., Norfolk A. An ingenious solution to the problem you outline was found by a senior clerk in the House of Lords who, throughout his career, in the cooler part of the year habit- ually wore women's black silk stockings which he attached to his shirt-tails by means of suspender buttons and clips (available in Fenwick's and Peter Jones), thereby achieving the two results of keep- ing his stockings fully hoisted and stopping his shirt riding up over the waistband of his trousers.
Q. Our art gallery in a cobbled mews of the
Dear Mary.. .
West End of London is immediately adjacent to licensed premises. During spells of warm weather the customers of the pub gravitate outside, glasses in hand, and before long they are five deep on the pavement and have erupted onto the area in front of our gallery, which deters bona fide customers from entering. Have you any suggestions as to how we can discourage the disorderly mob from spilling over in this way?
G.F., London W1 A. Why not install some form of apparatus similar in operation to a burglar alarm which, when the beam is interrupted, broadcasts some such announcement as `Welcome to the gallery', repeated in a monotonous tone until such time as the intruders have moved off the sensitive area covered by the machine. The constant repe- tition of this robotic message would have the desired effect of repelling the invaders of your space.
Q. May I contribute my own advice as to how to behave when confronted by the presence of somebody whom you recognise but are unable to put a name to; a common enough occurrence? The other day in a train I found myself sitting opposite an attractive young woman who I was sure I knew but could not name. I said, 'I hope you don't mind my saying so but I thought you gave an excellent performance in Pride and Prejudice.' This gambit quickly elicited her real name and, needless to say, she was rather flattered to be confused with a tele- vision personality.
A. Thank you very much for contributing a solution to what can be an embarrassing problem. Readers can obviously adapt according to the circumstances.
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