AN AMERICAN ON THE ORIGIN OF THE WAR. [To mr.
3:orron OF THE " SPECTATOR."] Su:,--Mr. Booth Tarkington, the well-known American novelist, in an article in the Metropolitau gives the following brilliant summary of the correspondence which preceded the war. I think it will interest your readers.— I am, Sir, &c., Z.
" Studying the ease, the public-discovered that there is a horrible land of jargon in use among diplomatists. It should be done away with as soon as possible, for it is seventeenth.eentury, not twentieth ; Nit it belongs to the repulsive courtesies of the duello, and will probably be found necessary so long as nations remain duellists. Our public was shocked to find that Governments use euphonies -to cover blasphemies ; they.talk freely of throat-cutting, car-split- ting, and disembowelling, but always in words that suggest the degeneracy of some morbidly truculent College Professor, suave as cold cream and sinister as Sitting Bull. Now, disentangling the meanings and releasing them from `diplomatic usage,' we found that the following bit of dialogue had preceded the war: AUSTRIA : (To Serbia) You scoundrel, get down on your knees and eat ten mouthfuls of dirt I Do it in one minute, or I'll shoot !
RussiA : (To Austria) shoot if you do. (To Serbia) Eat all the-dirt you possibly can ; do your best to keep him from shooting. I don't want to have to shoot.
Exo LAND, FRANCE, AND ITALY : (TO Austria) Please wait a minute. (.7'p Germany) Austria is your brother ; he does exactly what you tell him .fie do. Ask him to wait just a minute longer, before he shoots. IV° can arrange this to satisfy Austria if you'll get him 104 to shoot.
CAERMANY :
,SERBLA • Oa his knees and swallowing): There ! I've eaten nine mouthfuls, and I will eat the tenth if you'll give me just a few seconds tor .digestion. A usTuta. : No, your minute is up and I shoot. I:NC:LAND AND PRANCE (imploring Gem-many): Please stop him !
You arc the only one who can. Won't you say a word to stop him ?
:ERMANY : No. , • Russia (beginning-to load his old-fashioned shotgun): I hope you'll :stop ,him. See hero, Austria, can't we talk things over and see if there isn't a better way out ? : Perhaps we could if-- (11Mmi;Ny (imitervepting): Russia, quit loading that gun ! Russia : 1 can't while things aro in this shape, but I will quit leading at once if Austria will promise not to shoot Serbia. GERNIA'SY (interrupting): I love peace and I have done more than worts; may to preserve it. The sword is forced into my hands, evidently by Cm, and I defend myself. (Draws two well-oiled and tended, inam pgzots - of a magnificent new model and begins to shoot,
FramT and England run home to get their guns.)
karell es we might, wo could find no true substitute for this i!ialOgue. We have read and listened eagerly—yes, anxiously and hopefully--to everything the 'Germans had to say ; we wanted to see tho case of their Government in a happier light ; but nothing altered thq substance of the Governmental conversation just given.
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