Robert Hardman

IT was not long ago that we were reading of a celebrated band of meteoric City traders called the 'Flaming Ferraris', Lord Archer's son among them. They managed to make colossal sums via some ingenious market wheeze, although, after subsequent investigations, some of them should have been rechristened the 'Scorched Skodas'. But it is not their dealings which stick in my mind. It is the fact that they would cele- brate their triumphs at a place called Nam Long.

This is the overcrowded, overrated Viet- namese restaurant and cocktail joint on the Old Brompton Road which remains a mag- net for a certain City type, usually those who like to buy their drinks in the same way they buy their shares. Those who do not enjoy jostling for a drink or a seat should go elsewhere. And yet Nam Long is always heaving.

Now it has a rival, an even more dismal establishment called Catch which has just opened across the road. Catch is a down- stairs bar with a small upstairs restaurant, a bouncer on the door and an indifference to the customer which should make it go far in these parts. The City boys will soon be queuing up.

Catch has been created by Sophia Bur- rell, who apparently divides her time between an 'It Girl' existence and a slot in the England women's polo team. Unfortu- nately, it was also where I decided to take my sister, Victoria, to celebrate her birth- day.

Arriving at 9 on the dot for the promised 9 p.m. table, we were sent to the downstairs bar and promptly forgotten as a private party absorbed what there was in the way of staff. After ten minutes of neglect in the gloom we made our way to the upstairs bar in search of a drink or a menu or a glimpse of the table. A waiter, reinforced by a bouncer, duly ushered us back down again on the grounds that space was limited and we would not have to wait long.

One and a quarter hours after arriving, our first course arrived. I will not bore readers with too much detail. The tomato galette was a dreary mess of bland tomato on wet pastry, and the salmon ravioli was cold with a slightly unsettling pong. Victo- ria's boyfriend, Mark, was, however, happy With his halibut tartare.

Victoria opted out of her main course altogether. Mark and I ploughed on, he with lamb overpowered by a hefty tomato sauce (£12.75) and I with a heap of olive- saturated cod (£11.50). On the plus side, we all agreed that the chips were good and Victoria was impressed by the Molton Brown soap in the loos.

I gather that there is some plan to turn Catch into a chain. I hope someone tells Miss Burrell not to chuck in the chukkas just yet.

One chain which should work, on the other hand, is Livebait. It did not start out as a chain but is becoming one. Originally a slick fish-and-chip joint near Waterloo, it spawned a second branch in Covent Gar- den and is evolving into a network of upmarket fish restaurants under the aus- pices of the Chez Gerard group, the steak- and-chips-in-posh-surrounds chain. The third and latest Livebait has opened in Notting Hill on the site of what used to be Palio, further nudging the Notting Hill restaurant gauge into the red zone marked 'overload'. It has been going only three weeks but is already attracting a large fol- lowing of bankers, babes and local celebri- ties — Robbie Williams has been in twice. I first visited on a Wednesday just three days after the opening and it was busy. Three weeks later, on a Friday night, it was packed.

Livebait is one of an increasing number of restaurants with a smoking/no-smoking 'For this recipe you'll need 125 chickens . . . of course, you'll only actually eat one.' divide. As a smoker, I am quite happy with this sort of apartheid as long as the wheez- ers are not given second-class citizen treat- ment. In fact, the upstairs puffing zone was roomier and quieter than the smoke-free downstairs section. My friend, Alice, and I allowed ourselves a quiet gloat over fag number one.

The staff were eager to please, although there were still signs of teething trouble: no one bothered to offer us any bread, an order for a bottle of £15.75 Cote du Rhone reappeared as a £27 bottle of Cote de Beaune, and when we did receive the right wine a waiter managed to knock over the bottle.

Alice kicked off with half-a-dozen native Irish oysters (£2.35 each) which she declared to be 'very good and very Irish'. Unable to eat oysters since a moment of pure gluttony at a Blackpool oyster bar during the 1991 party conference season, I took her word for it.

My pan-fried squid with chorizo, polenta terrine and roasted red peppers should have been listed as chorizo with a polenta nibble and a light squid garnish. It was a miserly bit of squid for £7.95.

Unlike most fish restaurants, Livebait takes a purist stance. There are no non- seafood options — herbivores and fish- haters, be warned. For main courses there is a choice of regular fish dishes — monk- fish wrapped in ham, baked herb-crusted cod — or the catch of the day. In fact, there are about 15 catches of the day which are served grilled or pan-roasted but come with nothing unless you pay extra for it.

Alice moved on to a large, if unsightly, slab of underdone tuna and raved about its freshness. I had a £13.25 slice of grilled swordfish, tender throughout but rather small and lonely in the middle of a huge and otherwise empty plate. Some chips — £2.50 extra — helped fill the space.

'Fresh fish with a difference' is Livebait's motto. The fish is certainly fresh and can- not be faulted. The 'difference' would seem to be the price. With 12.5 per cent service added on, it means little change from £20 for a plate of fish and chips. 'For that sort of price, I would expect a tablecloth, the odd candle, a bigger table,' Alice reflected.

Notting Hill's free spenders do not seem too bothered, though. And I doubt that there will be much grumbling at the next Livebait, which is about to open in the City.

If the chain is to expand to 020 8-land and beyond, though, the prices may need to drop a little. Some punters will expect a complimentary chip on their plate if they are not to develop one on their shoulders.

Catch, 158 Old Brompton Road, London SW5; tel: 020 7370 3300.

Livebait Notting Hill, 175 Westboume Grove, London W11; tel: 020 77274321.

Robert Hardman is a columnist and correspondent for the Daily Telegraph