Television
In season
Alexander Chancellor
This being the time of the year for 1 renewing old acquaintances, I renewed mine on Boxing Day with the Ewing family of Dallas. They are all looking a bit older, poor things, than when I last saw them, but are otherwise unchanged with the one startling exception of the world's favourite grandmother, Miss Ellie. The soothing old girl we used to know and love, the only reliable member of this neurotic family, has vanished into thin air and been re- placed by another actress of a quite diffe- rent sort. The new Miss Ellie, far from exuding the warmth and cosiness we had come to associate with the character, has a mean little face on top of a stout little body and doesn't look as if she likes anybody very much. She is also going through some sort of marital crisis, which reduces her to the level of all the other members of her family. The sooner she is got rid of, the . better.
As to the others, it is remarkable to find J. R. Ewing and his wife Sue Ellen still together after all these years. She has repeatedly rumbled him as one of the cruellest, nastiest, most devious and most disloyal husbands imaginable, and yet she never leaves him for long. Dallas is monu- ment to the strength of the marriage bond, whatever the strains that are put upon it. Admittedly, the marriage of JR's wet younger brother Bobby looks a little less secure. Indeed, I presume he is already divorced from Pam because he has announced his intention of marrying some- body else. But in Dallas such seemingly irreversible disasters are reduced to the level of minor setbacks, and I would be surprised if Pam and Bobby were not shortly together again.
Pam is played by Victoria Principal, who is a keep-fit fanatic and is always being voted one of the most beautiful women in the world. She looks as if she is made of frozen plasticine, and her goddess-like status was confirmed by the fact that she was Terry Wogan's choice as his principal guest on the Christmas Day edition of his chat show. I was pleased to find her rather brighter and jollier than I had expected. Wogan did not get the chance to touch her because she was addressing him from California on a vast television screen. He seemed to enjoy being dwarfed by her in this way, for he likes nothing more than playing the part of a cheeky, lovable little boy. He was in such good form that he even extracted much spontaneous laughter from the goddess herself. All in all, a successful interview.
In referring earlier .to Miss Ellie as the world's favourite grandmother, I had for- gotten about the Queen. Somehow or other, I am ashamed to say, I contrived to miss her Christmas broadcast, though I saw some of the film of Prince Harry's Christ- ening on the evening news. Reading the text of the Queen's message later, I thought it was rather good until she said: 'One of the most encouraging develop- ments since the war has been the birth of the Commonwealth. Like a child it has grown, matured and strengthened until today the vision of its future is one of increasing understanding and co-operation between its members.'
Unfortunately, very few of her British subjects share this vision. Every year she undermines the impact of her Christmas message by placing such emphasis on an institution in which hardly anybody be- lieves. She ought really to record two Christmas messages — one for the Com- monwealth and one for us. But apart from that, it was encouraging of her -to strike such a cheerful note at the end of such a cheerless year.
The greatest survivor on television must surely be Eamonn Andrews. He was on twice during Christmas week, as the host on What's My Line? on Christmas Eve and presenting This is Your Life on Boxing Day. His appeal is mysterious. He is bland, ill-at-ease and very sweaty. But the people like him, which is all that matters. I do, however, wish that This is Your Life could be made a bit less superficial. Every participant has clearly been made to re- hearse some little anecdote which he or she trots out at the appointed moment, how- ever pointless or irrelevant it may be. It is quite possible to watch an entire pro- gramme without acquiring any coherent picture of the subject's life or achieve- ments. But if one is feeling like a good squirm, this is the programme to watch.
The bad news I hear is that when Face the Press returns to Channel 4 in the new year, Anthony Howard will no longer be its presenter. He has always seemed to me to be very good at the job, so why is he being replaced — and by whom? I think we should be told.
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