5 JUNE 2004, Page 71

Q. A year ago I lent a book to somebody

and he has still not returned it. I am desperate to have it back but it seems so petty to ask for a book back. How can I do this without appearing pathetically queeny?

J.H., London W2 A. Ring up your friend and say, 'I'm sorry to be a crashing bore burl think I may have lent you a book which was lent to me by someone else who is now very rudely asking for it back. Do you have it? Any chance you could drop it round so I can stop him from pestering me?'