5 JUNE 2004, Page 71

Q. I am a senior peer of the realm and

often meet rather cheeky young whippersnappers who ask me personal questions along the lines of 'How are your children?' when in fact it is unlikely they have even met them. What is a suitable putdown in these circumstances?

Name and address withheld A. Why not reply in avuncular and august manner, 'How kind of you to ask' With any luck they will get the message and withdraw gracefully before you even have to go through the motions of answering their impertinent inquiry.