A NEW USE FOR CANCELLED POSTAGE-STAMPS.
IN modern farces, the great point of the plot usually turns upon the obstinacy of some well-intentioned old gentleman, who being loath to part with an only daughter, has declared his resolve never to consent to her marriage, but who perceiving that she is deter. mined to give him the slip, prudently qualifies this declaration by rendering his sanction dependent upon the fulfilment of what he professes to believe to be some impossible conditions. The young lovers of course contrive to accomplish the difficult task—generally that of deceiving the old gentleman himself; who finds consolation under the circumstances by reflecting that no one could have escaped being tricked by their unparalleled ingenuity.
These little contrivances illustrate a common feature of ordinary life. Old gentlemen are constantly doomed to discover that some of their most cherished determinations must sooner or later be quietly given up or rudely trampled under foot ; and happy are they who can take a hint from the stage and hit upon a plan of
surrender which shall look more like an accidental necessity than the deliberate renunciation of a long-settled resolve. To one of these worthy creatures the Penny Postage seems to have come as a godsend. His daughter is to remain portionless until she has collected an impossible number of Queen's heads. She will doubt- less succeed in her task—of course to the immense astonishment of its sagacious concoctor' who when he consents to the event that is to make him a delighted grandfather, will, very properly, take care to have it understood that he has not changed his opinion as to the inexpediency of the affair, but that he merely yields to circumstances which no one could believe would ever have come to pass. Meanwhile, the arrangement operates for the benefit of all parties. The old gentleman hugs himself in the triumph of his firmness ; and the mind of the young lady is free and happy, because she has a tangible prospect before her and can calculate her pro- gress. If at night she be but a hundred stamps nearer to her lover than when she arose in the morning, it brings at least a de- finite amount of consolation.
Now this system might be extensively acted upon. There are a vast number of old English gentlemen with a stock of cherished determinations, upon the maintenance of which they have sore mis- givings, and which they would perhaps gladly surrender if it could be managed as a time-bargain and without humiliation. Suppose, in such cases, they propose a "merry bond" to abandon their re- solves (which, of course, it is to be understood they would the rather than think of surrendering in earnest) upon the production of some never-to-be-collected number of used postage-stamps. There happen just now to be a few questions which have long been settled as far as argument goes, and which are therefore precisely in the condition to be placed upon the footing we have suggested. It would be diverting, for instance, if the country gentlemen would jocosely mention the number of stamps that might win them to the abolition of the Corn-laws ; and they would, moreover, greatly benefit the revenue, since the 50,0001. to be raised by the League would doubtless under such circumstances go to swell the Post office returns. By a recourse to this plan, men's minds would settle down upon a definite point of action, a world of misdirected labour would be saved, and the greatest changes might be effected without the dangers of sudden convulsions : Resignation and Hope would meet together, and all parties would calmly watch the dimi- nution of the figures specifying the number of stamps standing be- fore any given reform. In this way the adoption of a measure of National Education might cease to be among the ideas connected with eternity ; and the possible perpetuity of the gallows might come to be disproved with mathematical precision. Perhaps however, it would be as well to begin with smaller matters. What if Sir Ro- BERT, out of pure merriment, could be tempted to stake upon the production of a certain number of stamps the existence of his slid- ing scale ? It is not impossible that the number demanded might be found capable of expression by fewer figures than would be required to denote a homceopathic dilution, or the distance of a fixed star.
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