HUMOURS OF NILE.*

" NOTHIIIG like a little judicious levity," says Stevenson in his preface to The Wrong Box. The late Lord Edward Cecil's sketches on the lighter side of Egyptian official life prove the truth of this aphorism, and at the same time show him to have been a humorist of the first order. Anybody who remembers, as does the present writer, life in Cairo twenty years ago, and even longer, will recognize the accuracy of Lord Edward's account of the abominable cabs, the drivers of which never know the way to the habitation of any official. Dinner-parties

thus became a nightmare when held in any house that the guest did not know, and apparently the only improvement from the old days to those of Lord Edward was that the cabs, instead of being drawn by two miserable horses with their ribs sticking out of their sides, had turned into taxis. This, though a com- fort to the horses, is a source of danger to those who are driven. The taxi-drivers are entirely reckless and fly along the streets regardless of the traffic ; while at night things are even worse, for their headlights are the most modest form of illumination'that

it is possible to conceive. The present writer remembers -crossing the bridge to GiZa, on a bicycle—a sufficiently terrifying experi-

ence with the camels stretching their long necks to investigate such an astonishing means of locomotion—but in a taxi the

passage must be appalling ! There is an account of reaching a party at Giza :—" Wow, wow, wow, goes the horn, as we miss an elderly peasant by the fraction of an inch:" Even at night the roads are frequented by camels which shy. " from the side of the road into the middle" and " . . . don't- carry lights because they are not carts."

When we arrive at Giza, I am not in a .condition for cool thought, but I fancy that the house must be down a dark turning I see on the left, and impart my views to the driver, who twists his machin, in that direction, through a flock composed appar- ently of children and goats mixed. When one wants to find a house in this country, the only method is to ask one's way at a • The Zefisstre_of an. Egyptian Official, IV Lard Edward cecy, London: Hodder and toughtOn. L153. 'leg house which has -been standing for aorta time, as there is more chance of the servants there knowing the district well."

On this particular occasion Lard Edward selected a, louse at which to enquire, from which he was sent on a long round only to return to find that his host, " Birnim Bey," really inhabited the original house at which he asked, and where he was sent away because ";n this country a house is always called by the name of the original owner er, anyhow, of the last owner." The annoyance of going to the party is, however, not ' to the boredom auffered by the author, first at the dinner and en at a large reception at the Agency:- " In books one reads of brilliant men passing through brilliant

rooms, saying brilliant things to their fellow-guests ; teal lie you see men with worn, angry faces, fighting their way throug a seething mass of overheated humanity to the refreshments, under the hope that alcohol will make them forget their sorrows. How can one be brilliant with a man standing on your toes, another with his elbow deep in your ribs, whilst a muscular and impatient lady urges you on by prodding you in the back with her fan, which she subsequently accuses you of breaking ? Far from being brilliant, one's difficulty is to refrain from coarse profanity."

These remarks apply to evening parties in other parts of the world quite as much as to those given in Cairo.

Perhaps the same may be said of Lord Edward's account of his attendance at a committee meeting at the "Ministry of Arts and Crafts." After giving notes on the personnel of the committee, which remind one of Mr. Bernard Shaw's comments on the dramatis personae of one of his plays, Lord Edward proceeds to blast the faith of those who believe in government by committee by describing exactly what happened. An unfortunate accident caused the introductory proceedings to be even leas fruitful of results than usual :- " The Minister . . . fixes his eye on the secretary and says : Let us begin l Come now, be quick I ' The secretary begins in quavering tones to gabble out the explanatory note or reffunai of the first question.

' Is this,' says Memel), in his most deliberate manner, the first, second or third question which the secretary is reading out ? I have no objection to taking the questions in any order your Excellency may think fit, but I should like to know in what order we are going to take them. It is quite impossible to tell what the secretary is reading when he Speaks so fast and so indistinctly.'

Quite so,' says the Minister. How often, Khalil Effendi, have I told you to read slowly and distincpy, so that we may be all aware what we are doing. Sapp-esti I You pay no attention.'

The unhappy secretary, who looks as if he was in a vapour bath, begins to read the document over again in funereal tones at the rate of one word a second.

I venture to remark,' says Du Chalons, that if wo proceed at this rate, we shall not finish our task before nine in the evening. If your Excellency wishes it to be so I have nothing to say, but I draw your attention to the point.'

Sap-riga. 1 ' says the Minister. Why cannot you read properly at a decent pace, neither too fast nor too slow ? '

The wretched secretary, now having completely lost his head and his place, remains silent, whereupon the Minister orders him to bring the paper to him, which he does with his knees knocking together.

Read like this,' says the Minister, with paternal dignity. " One shirt and two pairs of socks, one piastre." What is this ? This is not the ordre du jour. Are you by chance mocking us ' The miserable secretary, in a shaking voice, points out that it is the back of the paper which his Excellency is looking at, on which he had written down a private memorandum—in fact, a portion of hie washing bill. He is very sorry, he did it without thinking. He hopes his Excellency —.

A most improper proceeding,' says his Excellency. Washing lists are kept in a washing book, not on the back of the ordre du /cur of a committee of high officials of the Egyptian• Government, thus causing me, a Minister, to read out ridiculous nonsense about shirts and socks before the whole committee.' " The French and Scottish members of the committee are as characteristic of their nation. as the Welshman and the Scotsman in Henry V. The Scotsman holds up the whole proceedings by

criticizing a technical point, while the Frenchman " perorates about French enterprise, the French connexions with Egypt, Napoleon, and so on," thereby entirely stopping the business. The net result of the whole meeting is the passing of a slight alteration in the wording of a concession of land, and perhaps that is a creditable " bag " for a committee meeting, many of which we can all remember attending which separated without Ping anything at all. So great is Lord Edward's command of the literary medium that even in the midst of his delightfully frivolous book he can

make the recital of a dream turn our minds to the serious

cansideration of the great figure who will always stand as the symbol of the English occupation of Egypt :—

" After a space, the e,lorgle melt, and I find mysehl in a well- known room in Cairo, where I have so often heerd the problems of the Government of Egypt he that is sitting in the well- discussed, and the policy which Aguiar

was to govern her shaped. l'

remembered attitude at the table ma me me start with surprise. Has He come back to help us, or was it merely an evil dream that he ever went ? As I wonder how it is, I her one of those with whom he seems toe conferring t: in familiar tones : ' To put it shortly, our object is thus : o prevent the peasant

from squandering in the years when he well, and borrowing m the years when he does badly. This, we believe, our proposal will effect. If you, sir, approve and will support us, we intend to put the machinery we have discussed in motion as soon as possible.' The figure gives the quick decided nod of assent I knew so well, and the thick clouds of murky darkness again sweep swirling over the scene, whilst agaip the song of tho water-wheels rises high and clear in the air."

We cannot but admire the literary artifice which, without even the mention of his name, gives so striking a portrait of Lord Cromer and his methods of work.

It is impossible to read a page of the book without coming across some short sentence which would serve a less generous author as sauce for a whole chapter. For instance, there is the bank manager's wife, who greets her friend " with the great manner of Surbiton " ; Again, this illuminating dictum on those dauntless spinsters who represent England in every quarter of the globe : " I believe there is only one moral force which it is quite impossible to withstand, and that is the force wielded by a nice but determined old lady." Then as to the baggage arrangements in a home-going P. and 0.: " Thirdly. there are labels marked, ' Not wanted on voyage,' which I have so often longed to paste on the backs of several of my fellow- passengers."

The book is, however, a great deal more than merely amusing. Through the medium of its witty pages it gives its readers a closer insight into the psychological conditions which affect the Government of Egypt than they will get from many weighty volumes written by more serious and less perspicuous authors.