TOPICS OF THE DAY.
HOMEOPATHIC POLITICIANS.
THE most striking peculiarity of the homceopathic system of medi- cine, in the eyes of the uninitiated, is presented by the minikin doses which its professors administer. It may be ignorance, but one can scarcely forbear laughing at the bare idea of a great lub- berly ploughman writhing under a fit of the colic, and opening his Gargantua mouth to receive a pellet of sugar weighing one grain, upon which one drop has been allowed to fall of a solution of the one- billionth part of a grain of aloes in a pint of water. The infinitesi- mal doses of the medical homoeopathists, however, are large quanti- ties when compared with the prescriptions of the political homoeo- pathists who at present discharge the functions of state physicians to John Bull. The colossal bulk of the unfortunate patient is tortured with a thousand contradictory symptoms—repletion, star- vation, indigestion, apoplexy, consumption. "There is derange- ment and obstruction in the vessels whose function it is to convey nourishment to the different parts of the body," say the consulting doctors who issued last session the Report on Import-duties. " Ali, true," smirks Dr. LABOUCHERE ; " here is a medicated pellet that will set that to right : I'll equalize the duties on East and West India rum." " There is a terrible law congestion here," observe other wise men ; " the organ must be either very much relaxed or far too small." " No fear," rejoins Dr. CAMPBELL; " set that right in a twinkling : I'll forbid the Court of Exchequer to meddle with Equity matters, and appoint two new Equity Judges." If there is any analogy between the effects of small doses in medical and in political cases, there is no truth in homoeopathy. The general public take no interest in Sir JOHN CAMPBELL'S nibbling at Chancery Reform, because they see no tangible benefit to be de- rived from it. But the habitues of the system are alarmed : if in- novation once begin, where is it to stop ? The measure is pre- cisely of that kind which conciliates not one defender and stirs up a host of enemies. Moreover, such narrow reforms remain within the region of technicalities : the language in which they are dis- cussed, assailed, and defended, is unintelligible to all but profes- sional men. As to the measure contemplated by that rum Re- former Mr. L ABOUCHERE, what does he gain by evading the com- prehensive reform demanded by all who have read the Report on Import-duties, and trying to establish his character as a commercial legislator on the miserable little question he has chosen? The mass of the population know nothing and care nothing about the differen- tial duties upon West and East India rums. By Mr. LABOUCHERE'S own showing, the differential duties produce no effect upon the British market ; our West India colonies alone producing much more than we consume, and the retail price in the home market being regulated by the price in the market of the world, where the West India rum comes into competition with foreign as well as East India rums. The portion of the mercantile body interested in the rum trade is not very numerous ; and, inasmuch as the West Indians have, if any thing, more influence in the Legislature than the East Indians, are decidedly opposed to the measure unless accompanied with other measures which shall give relief to the Colonies. The Anti- Slavery party, too, is preparing to mingle in the discussion, and threatening to raise a question which will sorely perplex the Go- vernment. Mr. LABOUC HERE'S little measure will gain him scarcely one influential friend, and will raise a swarm of opponents. To re- turn to our metaphor : these homceopathic doses of reform only serve to excite fresh uneasy symptoms in addition to those which before existed. What homoeopathic physicians are, it would be presumption in us to declare ; but surely homceopathic politicians are quacks.
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