6 JULY 2002, Page 33

On Reaching the Age of Eighty-five

Gone are the days of youth No more returning. This is the simple truth, No point in yearning.

First it's the eyes that go, Then it's the knees; Then comes the cruellest blow, Brain starts to freeze.

Hideous the body grows, Face even worse; Time to turn up one's toes.

Ring for the hearse!

Dolly Eltenton