Questionable Answers

The usual prizes were offered for two plausible parliamentary questions along with appro- priate answers which would be startlingly incongruous or agreeably amusing if transposed.

THE essence of this competition, as most com- petitors realised, was to devise two Questions that could properly have appeared on the Order Paper of the House of Commons and two Answers which, if correctly given, would have been un- remarkable. The transposition was everything. Further, as J. E. Cherry pointed out, 'the situation could only arise if both questions were addressed to the same department.' The Postmaster-General, for example, might reasonably be expected to reply to a Question about telephone calls, but not to a Question about call-girls. The Minister of Agriculture has some responsibility for the trans- port of animals but none for the transport of schoolchildren. Hence I could enjoy, but not for- mally commend, the entry from Frances Colling- wood, which began :

Question : Is the Rt. Hon. Gentleman aware that. children in the Runcible area are obliged to walk two miles there and back to school?

Answer : I understand that. pending thorough inquiry, requisite cattle-trucks have been put into operation to convey the swine swiftly to and from these insanitary establishments.

In the final summing-up I paid particular atten- tion to the verisimilitude of the suggested Ques- tions and of the Answers that should properly have been given to them. On this basis Oblomov and R. Kennard Davis receive a guinea and a half each: the same amount goes to Geoffrey Cottle and J. E. Cherry for their entries. Commended : D. R. Peddy, Mumbo and P. Roberts.

PRIZES (oat.omov)

MR. CRABTREE : To ask the Home Secretary what action he proposes to take about the novel Lolita by Mr. Nabokov. M.R. BUTLER: Arrangements have now been made for Her Majesty's Stationery Office to print 600,000 copies. These wilt be available free of charge at any police station to members of the public who arc interested in this topic. A special version in the Welsh language has been prepared for distribution in Wales.

MR. LOOSES'TRIEE : To ask the Home Secretary whether he will make it statement about the leaflet on personal protection against nuclear clouds, pre- pared by his Department.

MR. BUTLER: 1 have now examined this publication myself. Apart from the repugnance one naturally feels towards the basic theme, I am advised that there is a prima facie case for holding that the matter contained in it has a tendency to corrupt. Appropriate action is being taken by my Right hon. and Learned Friend.

( R. KENNARD DAVIS) QUESTIONS ADDRESSED TO THE MINISTER OF AGRICULTURE

QUESTION No. 17:

Is the Minister aware of the extensive damage done by rabbits, and will he take vigorous measures to have them eliminated?

ANSWER No. 18:

No, Sir. I believe that they are rendering valuable service to farmers, and that their activities should be welcomed and encouraged.

QUESTION No. 18:

May I direct the attention of the Minister to the increase in the number of Inspectors and other, de- partmental officials, and urge him to check their multiplication?

ANSWER No. 17: • I am fully aware of the damage done by these pests, which are breeding at an alarming rate, and farmers are constantly being urged to exterminate them.

Sporadic shooting is ineffectual, and organised drives should be arranged at frequent intervals. It must however be remembered that they add variety to the countryman's diet, and that their fur has a certain

(GEOFFREY CUT11.11) QUESTIONS TO THE MINISTER OF HEALTH

QUESTION 'A' :

How successfully has the scheme for poliomyelitis vaccination of young people up to the age of 25 pro- gressed so far?

ANSWER 'B':

About a dozen deaths have been attributed to this cause, and nearly 2.000 cases of severe illness of which some 75 may result in life-long disabilities.

QUESTION 'B':

Is there any evidence of deaths arising from the recent smog?

ANSWER 'A':

The total so far is 21 million, which we are confi- dent can be doubled during the next year. The BMA hopes that eventually it will cover the entire popula- tion of the British Isles.

(J. E. CHERRY)

EXCHANGES WI111 THE HOME SECRETARY' QUESTION 'A':

What special inducements are being considered to encourage recruitment to the police forces of the Country?

ANSWER 'B':

None. Recruits to this unfortunate profession have fallen away since the publication of the Wolfenden Report. Many new recruits have already been for- mally warned of the attendant dangers and others arc receiving suitable Borstal training.

QUESTION 'B':

What steps are being taken to eliminate the undesir- able female element from the streets of London before the summer tourist season starts?

ANSWER 'A':

None. However, a maximum eight-hour shift system has been agreed with the appropriate union. Cadets will only patrol with experienced personnel and official facilities are now available in each Division to give advice on court procedure and attendances.