7 JUNE 1997, Page 71

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

Dear Mary. . .

Q. I live in a central London square and, since I am a member of the square's garden committee, I frequently come across stolen bags which have been chucked over the railings after the thieves have looted them. A couple of weeks ago, however, I was pleased to find two handbags, belonging, as I. deduced from the contents, to a pair of sisters. I contacted the mother and one of the sisters came round to collect the bags. On opening her own, she was overjoyed to find that although cash and credit cards had been stolen, virtually everything else was intact, including Cutler & Gross sunglasses and one of those expensive and elegant lit- tle personal computers worth about £300. She enthused for some time about how dis- traught she had been and how I had saved her life, since she was a journalist and all her contact numbers and diary details had been stored in this mini-computer. We chatted for a bit and I told her I would be interested to see a copy of the magazine she worked on, and a couple of days later one came through the post. It came without com- pliment slip, let alone thank-you letter. Am I light in thinking that I deserved at least a bottle of champagne or a bunch of flowers in reward for my services? If you agree, how should I best nudge her conscience?

Name and address withheld A. I have taken a straw poll amongst top moralists of my acquaintance. They have mainly pronounced that while they them- selves would have sent you presents to the value of L50475, it should not theoretically be necessary to reward virtue with material goods. A letter would certainly be appro- priate, despite the fact that the girl had already given an exuberant display of grati- tude in person. The possibility remains that she may have considered you too grand to accept a reward, but since you are keen to get one, why not ring her office and announce that you have received delivery of a tin of Beluga caviar? Before she can comment, say, 'There was no note on it to say who it came from, but I presume it must be from you since I can't think of anyone else who would feel I deserved a present!'

Q. I recently attended a dinner party given by a rather punctilious person in Cadogan Square. Two days later, before I had had time to put pen to paper, a letter came through the post from him thanking me for attending his party. I presume this was a veiled reprimand to me for having failed to get my letter in on time, so how should I reply?

T. G., London NW6 A. On the contrary, your host most likely hails from the new school of thought that hosts should be grateful to guests rather than vice versa. Guests, after all, have to pay for baby-sitters, take taxis or stay sober, commit themselves in advance and then sing for their supper amid what can sometimes be no more than a social creditors' meeting. Nevertheless you should repay the compli- ment by thanking your host, even if tardily.