Q. A few weeks ago we had a 25th wedding
anniversary dance. Old and new friends came from far and wide. A clutch of beautiful presents was left for us in the hall, which we did not expect. One had an unsigned card (from a Dover Street Art Gallery). The present is the most stunning set of silver salad servers. I am in agony at being unable to thank the kind person who gave us these. Going through the guest list, I eliminated all those who gave presents with cards attached. Then I picked three particularly stylish girlfriends who were likely to have given such a present; I emailed them with my mystery but felt embarrassed. All three said they weren’t the donors but said, ‘Your present is still being made.’ Oh dear — this crippled me with further embarrassment and I now won’t inquire further down the list. What shall I do, since I cannot live for the rest of my life not knowing whom to thank?
C.W., Devon A. The Round Robin means of communication is, of course, normally unacceptable. Recipients resent the impersonality of the one-size-fits-all mentality but few would object if one was used to notify Lost Property findings. Invent a catalogue of bogus items left behind following the dance, casually including ‘a pair of silver salad servers’ among them. Send this out by email or post to all remaining suspects. By acting daft in this way you will be able to identify your benefactors. ‘I can’t believe they are a present! How generous!’, you can shriek. Most pertinently, since no one need reply unless they wish to make a claim, this method will avoid giving an impression that you are soliciting further presents.
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