COMPETITION
Circulation-
Jaspistos
In Competition No. 1385 you were asked for a list of titles (subtitles also invited) of `articles which a magazine would have to run if it did not desire to outlive one edition'.
When this game was played in America, Christopher Hitchens records, the outright winner was 'Canada: Friendly Giant to the North'. The laurels of its creator, Robert Gottlieb, remain undisturbed despite an immense and amusing entry. Some of you had the cheek to include old headlines from this magazine — 'Day of Inaction' and 'Were the Logothetes in Control?' for instance — but you can't catch me like that. I was surprised. by so many of you forgoing the pleasure and advantage of the optional subtitle: it's the lack of punch in that line that so often puts one to sleep.
None of you succeeded in consistently entertaining me, though nearly all of you made me laugh at least once. Accordingly I have distributed my favours widely. Each item printed below is worth £2 to its inventor, and Marion Lindsay gets the bonus bottle of Veuve Clicquot Gold Label 1979 Vintage Champagne (the gift of NERA).
The Bradford Launderette Thefts: A dramatic reconstruction, with police diagrams The Scandal of Dental Caries in Lapland: Is there a link with Terror Plague Aids?
Why I Painted my Living-Room Orange: A reader writes Your Pet's Stars: The Moviegoer's guide to the real Stars of B-Westerns, those magnificent horses!
(Marion Lindsay) Supermarket Diary: Each week another check- out girl records her experiences Competition: Noughts and Crosses (W. S. Brownlie) Menstruation — Bane or Blessing?: What our toddlers think (Nancy Wilkinson) Ten Hours to Eternity: Arthur Scargill remem- bers one of Geoffrey Boycott's longest in- nings The Revolution that's Still Revolving: New hope for Albania, says Prelate (Martyn Partridge) Play Those Pentatonic Clusters!: A stroll
through the heritage of Western pop music Torque-ing of Transmission: Under the engine
bonnet with our Motoring Correspondent Nothing is More Real Than Nothing: Has minimalism finally disappeared? (John Williams) North Korea — Where Motoring Is Different: Philippa Mandrake test drives the new BL Megalo across this little explored corner of the mysterious East and comes up with some surprising conclusions Secrets of the Common Housefly: Why exces- sive hygiene could cause cancer (Charles Mosley) How United is the United Nations?
Does Britain Need a Written Constitution?
(Randolph Hahn) A Life in the House: The editor of Hansard recalls some of the lighter moments in the Commons Press Office Summer Reading: Lucinda Prior-Palmer picks her favourite summertime reading Art and About: Marina Warner talks to Marina Vaizey about women potters in 17th-century Normandy (Christopher Kerr) I Tickled Their Ivories: An Archbishop's Lady on tour, by Rosalind Runcie (Graham Dunstan) Landseer: The philosophical content (John Digby) Old Corners in Woking: More fascinating glimp- ses. This week the uneven pattern of kerb- stones (Joan Evans) Chess and Apartheid The Irish Language: Can it be saved?
(John O'Byrne) Fidelity Is Fun! (Roger Woddis) Is Your Hedge the Right Height? Being Kind Doesn't Cost Anything . . .
(Michael Pickering) Why Do You Yawn? (Brian D. Spearing) Majestic Doghouses: A description of the Royal kennels at Windsor, Sandringham, Balmoral and in Buckingham Palace In Your Garden: Consideration of measures which, taken two months ago, would have improved cropping under incessant rain (John Stanley) Know Your Alphabet: A full guide to Trade Union abbreviations and acronyms (D. A. Prince) Queen Victoria's Feet: Never before published details from the recently discovered diaries of her personal chiropodist Pocket Fluff — What Causes It?: Arthur Biggins investigates and illustrates his findings with line drawings (V. Ernest Cox)
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