8 MARCH 2008, Page 79

Q. Our wonderful home help from the Philippines, who has

visited us twice a week for 18 years, appears to have declining eyesight, as she now often leaves grease marks on the ironing. She would be mortified if we commented. How can we bring this to her attention without causing an upset?

A.R., London W8 A. Your help may be unable to afford glasses. She may equally be nervous that a trip to the optician will elicit personal details that could be forwarded to bossy government agencies. She may also be in denial. Book and pre-pay for an eye test for yourself at a local optician for one of the days she comes to you. When she arrives, say a friend has treated you to an eye test that morning but you are too busy to go to the appointment. You do not wish to waste the optician’s time but he does not know you so please can she sit the test, using your name, date of birth and address. Later you can ring the optician asking him to remind you what the result of ‘your’ test was. If your suspicions are correct, you can confront her in the following pleasant way. Next time she comes, laugh conspiratorially as you say, ‘The optician rang up to say that I do need glasses but I left without ordering any. Do let me buy you a pair.’ You can then stump up the £160 average cost or, using the prescription, buy them from www.glassesdirect.co.uk for a tenth of the price.