Q. Many years ago my dear husband switched his addiction
from cigarettes to Nicorette gum. The first thing he does in the morning is pop a gum in, and last thing at night he takes one out and carefully places it on his bedside table or any available surface. When we watch the news or read the papers the clacking noise of the gum between his champing jaws becomes even more pronounced as he uses the hypnotic grinding action as an aid to comprehension. He commutes by train and it’s got to the point where even fellow passengers on First Great Western — who after all do not endure the gum clacking and dropping in their own homes on a continuous basis — have been driven to implore him to ‘chew less loudly’. Mary, I married him and feel that Nicorette is part of the package (whenever I complain, his response is that he should not chew less loudly, but that I should become less sensitive), but others may not be so lenient. What should I do about his bovine habit?
R.D., address withheld A. Turn him from bovine back to beau by using nicotine replacement lozenges. These are widely available in chemist shops and have a very low OQ (offence quotient) since no champing is required for their consumption. The lozenge, or part of, is placed under the tongue or in the cheek from where it delivers its goods steadily and almost by stealth. One lozenge can last a few hours. Try NiQuitin in the same dosage as your husband’s gum. Leave the lozenges out and hide the gum. He will swiftly switch addictions.
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