11 DECEMBER 2004

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PORTRAIT r_LI: j 'ij T he Army Board approved a scheme to

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amalgamate all 19 single-battalion regiments into 'super regiments'. The BBC is to get rid of 3,000 staff in three years to save 1320 million. The Royal Commission on...

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Free the BBC

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1 I anyone needed convincing of the BBC's pathological self-importance, proof has been provided by the corporation's news coverage of its own reorganisation. On Tuesday, a day...

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BERYL BAINBRIDGE

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-I was in Woolworths last Friday when a woman hit her little child across the head. Quite a few of us saw what she did, but none of us did anything. To be fair, it wasn't a hard...

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ew laws are not going to make us safer

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T here is a contrast between John Monckton and almost everyone who has written about his murder. He was better prepared for his death than they were. He believed in divine grace...

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CHARLES MOORE

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M uriel Cullen, who died last week, aged 83, was the elder and only sister of Margaret Thatcher. Living happily with her husband on his well-run farm in Essex, she showed not...

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How not to run a country

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In the first interview since he delivered his report, Lord Butler tells Boris Johnson that Britain suffers from an overmighty executive bringing in 'a huge number of extremely...

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Gunning for Kofi

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Martin Walker says that the UN oil-for-food scandal is as much about the anger of US nationalists as it is about bribes Washington T wo of the world's most impressive spin...

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Fits of morality

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Rod Liddle on the idiocy of trying to bring down politicians for mere peccadillos while overlooking their real offences T he government continues to use very, very careful...

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Help mothers by cutting taxes

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Heather McGregor argues that both the government and the opposition have got child care badly wrong M y nanny earns a basic salary of £240 a week. Doesn't sound too much to pay...

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Don't play their Games

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Simon Hafer on why it would be a thoroughly bad thing if the Olympics came to London A ccording to a recent opinion poll conducted by ICM, 75 per cent of Britons back London's...

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Ancient & modern

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The footballer Wayne Rooney recently put on a party for his girlfriend, and the two families were soon punching each other's lights out; and last week a court ruled on the fight...

aking a

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killing Peter Oborne on the privatisation of security in Iraq and the rise of a new, respectable breed of mercenary E xecutives from a new type of company are doing the rounds...

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/i ji_D] - 3 /

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STEPHEN GLOVER Did he kiss and tell? Blunkett's NoW transcript seems to absolve him L ast week I suggested that in August David Blunkett leaked news of his affair with...

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,L‘J F) t\

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CHRISTOPHER FILDES Forget about heritage, that's been done unless it's a West End theatre A rchie Rice urged his audience not to applaud too loudly: 'It's an old house. A very...

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FRANK JOHNSON

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David Blunkett and knock down ginger: there are no easy answers DA any newspaper readers might not believe it but there are still some aspects of 'Blunkett-Quinn' that have not...

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Learning with delight the art of having your portrait painted

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PAUL JOHNSON I have had my portrait painted. It was not my idea. One fault I do not possess is vanity. Indeed I am extremely vain about not being vain. The artist is a young...

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Clarke v. Clark

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From the Rt Hon Charles Clarke MP Sir: Ross Clark is wrong to assert that the government exerts any influence over the value ascribed to exams in school performance tables...

The class of '98

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From Dr Sheridan Gilley Sir: Jonathan Osborne (Letters, 4 December) misses the point of the 1898 exam paper, in dismissing it for teaching such outdated skills as the 'ability...

Cutting edge of crime

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From Ian Bennett Sir: Nicky Samengo-Turner ('New Labour's police state', 27 November) is not the only person unexpectedly to find himself in trouble over what he thought was a...

Service with a sneer

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From Edward Spcilton Sir: Gareth Lawrence's response to Mr Samengo-Turner's arrest (Letters, 4 December) betrays the sort of aggressive, officious thuggishness which has become...

The UK's Wild West

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From Mark Wilson Sir: The rosy illusion of prosperity in urban Ulster for which Leo McKinstry Mister is all right', 4 December) seems to have fallen is founded on a bloated and...

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Wider still. .

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From Bill Whelan Sir: Rod Liddle gets it wrong (Thought for the clay, 27 November). There are many more readers of The Spectator than the 65,000 who buy the magazine. Library...

Swedish sweeteners

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From Blair Gibbs Sir: Someone should correct the misguided assumption of all Lefties that just across the North Sea lies a safe and contented socialist utopia (`Gordon's Swedish...

Praying for had people

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From the Revd Edmund Newey Sir: Theodore Dalrymple complains of the 'unctuously sermonising Church of England voice' that prompted him to turn off the wireless in disgust...

Tally whoops!

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From Martin Vander Weyer Sir: The Master of the Ampleforth Beagles, as I said (`The hounds of heaven', 4 December), 'likes to . . correct hunting solecisms' — so I must...

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Laughter with some intermissions

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Bevis Hillier J n October, jiffy bags piled up on my doorstep like sandbags around Whitehall in the Blitz. They were full of little books — potential stockingfillers — from the...

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The original Essex man

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Ian Thomson HAWKWOOD: THE DIABOLICAL ENGLISHMAN by Frances Stonor Saunders Faber, £17.99, pp. 366, ISBN057121908X £15.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 T he boil and hiss of...

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On a wing and a prayer

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M. R. D. Foot TAIL-END CHARLIES by John Nichol and Tony Rennell Viking, £18.99, pp. 470, ISBN 0670914568 (0 £16.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 SOO 4848 BOMBER CREW by John Sweetman...

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Awkward member of the squad

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Tom Sutcliffe THE DIARIES by Lindsay Anderson, edited by Paul Sutton Methuen, £25, pp. 528, ISBN 0413773973 ct £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 NEVER APOLOGISE: THE COLLECTED...

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Stars and bit players

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Lloyd Evans THE LAST HUMAN CANNONBALL by Byron Rogers Aurum, .E12.99, pp. 2645, ISBNI845130413 111.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 S coundrels and daredevils — these are...

Happy days in Wyoming

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Peter J. M. Wayne AN UNFINISHED LIFE by Mark Spragg Cape, £16.99, pp. 257, ISBN 0224073540 kl5 £14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 1 n the wake of a presidential election...

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Down but not out on one's uppers

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D. J. Taylor HALF AN ARCH by Jonathan Gathorne-Hardy Timewell Press, £20, pp. 368, ISBN 1857252012 0 ne of the more amusing characteristics of the English upper classes is...

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The daily round, the common task

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Kate Grimond OUR HIDDEN LIVES: THE EVERYDAY DIARIES OF A FORGOTTEN BRITAIN, 1945-48 by Simon Garfield Ebuty Press, 119.99, pp. 560, ISBN 0091896959 t 116.99 (plus £2.25 p&p)...

Wolves in sheep's clothing

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Charles Allen WAHHABI ISLAM: FROM REVIVAL AND REFORM TO GLOBAL JIHAD by Natana J. DeLong-Bas I. B. Tauris, £19.95, pp. 374, ISBN 185043679 7 ® E17.95 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800...

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A choice of recent first novels

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Sophie Lewis THE FLOOD by David Maine Canongate, £12.99, pp. 272, ISBN 184195537X £11.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 MR TIMOTHY by Louis Bayard John Murray, £12.99, pp....

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Escaping the shipwreck of Time

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Christopher Woodward BRITAIN'S BEST MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES by Mark Fisher Allen Lane, £30, pp. 416, ISBN0713995750 M ark Fisher begins this personal selection of the best 350...

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Children's books for Christmas

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Juliet Townsend 1 n the wall behind my mother's chair in the drawing-room was a little cupboard which contained half a dozen children's books. They ranged in date from the...

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The Questing Vie

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LIven as the Christmas season draws in , I ' upon us, the academy's best-loved post-foxhunting bloodsport — pointing out scholarly inadequacies in the new Dictionary of...

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Safety first

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Stephen Pettitt travels to Singapore to find out what we can expect from its season in London E very nation seems to be at it. Japan, Portugal, Hungary, Brazil, Sweden — all...

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England's Michelangelo

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Andrew Lambirth B.F. Watts: Portraits Fame & Beauty in Victorian Society National Portrait Gallery, until 9 January 2005 T hereputation of George Frederick Watts (1817-1904)...

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Exhibitions 2

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Self-taught prodigy Selina Mills Pamela Blanco (1906-94) England & Co, 216 Westboume Grove, W11, until 1 2 January 2005 . . . Over her paint and her colours bent Can paint...

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Promise unfulfilled

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Mark Amory The Phantom of the Opera I2A, selected cinemas O ne of the great pieces of good fortune in my life was that my parents despised pantomime. Instead, the theatrical...

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Theatre 1

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Snow White on steroids Lloyd Evans By the Boa of Cats Wyndham :s Anna In the Tropics Hampstead G ood news for Holly Hunter. She'll be home by Christmas. The play in which...

Theatre 2

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Wild about the dog Patrick Carnegy The Two Gentlemen of Verona; Julius Caesar Swan Theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon W hat does anyone readily recall of the Two Gents other than...

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Gardens

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Improving the soil Ursula Buchan I n our garden, there is a two-seater, brick-built privy. It hasn't been used for 40 years or so, but its presence in the garden still has a...

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Pop music

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1 hank you, me Marcus Berkmann Ag ain, the question looms. As you buy ountless copies of Robbie Williams's Greatest Hits on Amazon for all your deadbeat friends and relatives...

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Jazz

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Coltrane in a new light Stuart Nicholson T oday, the name Coltrane prompts unreasonable expectation of raising the sunken treasures of tenor saxophonist John Coltrane's...

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Youth and experience

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Michael Tanner The Rape of Lucretia Royal College of Music The Magic Flute Royal Academy of Music rr he royal schools of music have been covering themselves with operatic...

Radio

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Dispiriting age Michael Vestey S omeone asked me the other day whether or not I listen regularly to Desert Island Discs on Radio Four. I told her I don't, and she asked why....

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The right stuff

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James Delingpole - near, lovely hut dangerously optimistic and quite often wrong Matthew Parris had a go at rite in the Speccie the other week when en passant he mentioned TV...

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High life

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Drained and ravished Taki I suppose winning the Nobel Prize for curing cancer would get me more brownie points, but being the man who took Jemima Khan to High Table at Trinity...

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A matter of willpower

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Jeremy Clarke M y plea for the anti-smoking drug Zyban was flatly refused. Because Zyban has been known to trigger epilepsy, said the doctor, he'd only prescribe it as a last...

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Singular life

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Irresponsible behaviour Petronella Wyatt T he other day I arrived back from a trip abroad to find the house in its usual state of working order. The boiler had burst and there...

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Benison or bane?

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Jaspistos In Competition No. 2370 you were asked for a poem expressing either approval or disapproval of the habit of smoking. About smoking, as about many things, I am in two...

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Peckham expects

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FRANK KEATING 4 el Boy' Trotter, television's engag ingly endurable (and perpetually replayed) comic Cockney character created by actor David Jason, forever dreams of putting...

Dear Maly

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Q. In Scotland the Celtic tradition favours the female line (hence hereditary titles passing to daughters in the absence of an immediate male heir). In my opinion it would...