21 AUGUST 2004

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PORTRAIT r Jj ' / E ight men, arrested two weeks ago,

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were charged with planning to commit murder and to launch radiological, chemical, gas or bomb attacks. A-level candidates did better than ever; Mr David Miliband, the schools...

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Close of play

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T hat England should have a 3-0 lead in the present Test cricket series against West Indies is something that, only a few years ago, would have exceeded the most insane...

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S ummertime, and the house is open. Often people ask me

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what it is like having your home 'invaded' by the public. Well, it all comes down to attitude. If you see the approach of a coach, and the theme tune of Mastermind —...

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How Labour ministers lie about the world and their opponents

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0 ne of the key reasons why New Labour has been successful for so long is its ability to destroy or marginalise opponents. The techniques used are ruthless. Those who challenge...

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I n the annual A-level results debate, the government is politically

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sensible to position itself as the 'well-donekids-the-standards-are-getting better-all-the-time' party. It thus turns anyone who says that the government's policies aren't...

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Let's go nuclear

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Rod Liddle says the answer to our energy needs is obvious: cheap and reliable nuclear power. But before we can embrace a sane future we have to overcome the Cold War...

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Mind your language

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I had noticed carrion crows hopping towards me in St James's Park; policemen seem mere boys, even bishops grow young. Now I have received an unsolicited letter from the...

\o way to run an army

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Bruce Anderson regrets to say that Sir Mike Jackson shows little understanding of military tradition, and seems unwilling to resist New Labour's tampering with defence G...

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Victim nation

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The compensation culture costs Britain £.10 billion a year. David Davis blames the human rights industry 0 ne hardly knows where to start. The teacher who won £55,000 from the...

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Globophobia

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A weekly survey of world restrictions on freedom and free trade The television gardener Monty Don and his neighbours in the Herefordshire village of Brierley are upset by the...

Rule of the lawless

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Jan Raath on the continuing story of murder and intimidation in Robert Mugabe's Zimbabwe Harare M ost brutal regimes dispatch troublesome colleagues and pretend afterward to...

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THEODORE DALRYMPLE

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However terrible the state of the world might be today, there is one infallible consolation to be had: that it will be much worse tomorrow. This means that each day is a golden...

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Who are you calling a xenophobe, Mr MacShane?

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Anthony Browne says that Eurosceptics are not frightened of foreigners. But they are frightened by the threat Brussels poses to democracy throughout the EU p hew. At last our...

Page 22

American food sucks

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Ella Wmdsor says that if you don't like pigging out, you won't much enjoy eating in the US, where The Cheesecake Factory serves portions big enough to kill an ox M y American...

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Alternatives to war

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From Joseph Askew Sir: In his extended defence of the 'war on terror George Osborne (While England sleeps', 14 August) asks what other response there could be. History suggests...

A woman's true role

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From David M. Benda Sir: To paraphrase a famous man, whose name I've forgotten, Michael Hanlon's piece (There's no time like the present', 7 August) has got everything right...

Enemies of Belgium

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From Gerard de La Vallee Poussin Sir: On receiving the article (Surrender monkeys', 31 July) from Paul Belien, readers must have wondered what would motivate an individual to so...

Scots empire-builders

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From Eric Wilson Brown Sir: My congratulations to James Michie, surely a self-mocking closet Jock, on his witty poem (Friendly Fire', 14 August). It reminds me of a Flemish joke...

Vile solecism

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From Hugh Massingberd Sir: In his memorable definition of the 'Young Fogey' associated with The Spectator, Alan Watkins observed, 'He is a scholar of Evelyn Waugh.'...

Motorway Magic

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From Tom Howard Sir: Olivia Glazebrook (How to make girls cry'. 14 August) has missed the point of Magic FM. Two months ago, stuck in a jam on the M4, singing along with Beverly...

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Don't sneer at Mr Prescott: physical courage is rare among politicians

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M r Prescott. though 66, is probably the only Cabinet minister capable, as he showed in North Wales last weekend, of rescuing a concussed canoeist from the rapids. Mr Prescott...

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Keeping a sharp watch on the Parlement of Foules

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T n these warm lazy August days I have been watching my birds. I use the proprietary term because they do appear to enjoy my Somerset garden and make the fullest possible use...

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Someone has hidden the unemployment,

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so where is it this time? M y index of the labour market is simple and consistent: can you find a builder? (Answer: yes, I can, but I decline to publish his telephone number.)...

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A terrible beauty reborn

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Allan Massie TAMERLANE: SWORD OF ISLAM, CONQUEROR OF THE WORLD by Justin Marozzi HarperCollins, £25, pp. 449, ISBN 000711611X £23 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 ‘ e are very...

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The cured man of Europe?

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David Pryce-Jones THE TURKS TODAY by Andrew Mango John Murray, £20, pp. 292, ISBN 0719562295 f18 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 m ustapha Kemal, otherwise Ataturk, took the...

One man and his dog

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Eric Anderson THE PLACES IN BETWEEN by Rory Stewart Picador, £17.99, pp. 324, ISBN 0330486330 £15.99 (plus 12.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 S ix weeks after the defeat of the Taleban...

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Health, money, recipes and gossip

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Jane Ridley WIVES AND DAUGHTERS: WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE GEORGIAN COUNTRY HOUSE by Joanna Martin Hambledon & London, £19.95, pp. 454, ISBN 1852852712 (t..) £17.95 (plus £2.25...

The acceptable face of crime

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Andric, Linklater A PIRATE OF EXQUISITE MIND: THE LIFE OF WILLIAM DAMPIER, EXPLORER, NATURALIST AND BUCCANEER by Diana and Michael Preston Doubleday, £16.99, pp, 372, ISBN...

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Stifled at birth

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John de Faibe THE DANUBE TESTAMENT by Ingrid Mann Elliott & Thompson,111.99, pp. 267, ISBN 1904027121 T his is a reissue in paperback of a novel that utterly vanished on its...

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Method acting with a vengeance

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Sebastian Smee THE DOUBLE by Jose Saramago Harvill, f15.99, pp. 292, ISBN 1843430991 rt £13.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 T % vo of a good thing is usually better than one...

The lighter side of gender politics

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Tony Gould IN THE COMPANY OF CHEERFUL LADIES by Alexander McCall Smith Polygon, £12.99, pp. 231, ISBN 1904598064 ct 00.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 T he sixth in the 'No....

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The play's the thing

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Judith Flanders HISTORY PLAY: THE LIVES AND AFTERLIVES OF CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE by Rodney Bolt Harp erCollins, £17.99, pp, 416, ISBN 0007121237 (t £15.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870...

Madness and death in Korea

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Francis King THE RED QUEEN by Margaret Drabble Viking, £16.99, pp, 357, ISBN 0670915238 (t £14.99 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 T his diptych of a novel starts with a...

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What is this life?

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P. J. Kavanagh TIME TO STAND AND STARE by Barbara Hooper Peter Owen, £15.95, pp. 202, ISBN 0720612055 t £13.95 (plus £2.25 p&p) 0870 800 4848 W . H. Davies was a phenomenon of...

Olympic Message

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When the unnamed hoplite ran for his city's glory a new moon rose through silvery olive trees. Athens memorialised the battle story, minted the moon on her silver currency....

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I s the Prime Minister developing a long overdue sense of

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irony? Asked to name his favourite song for Face the Music, a new exhibition of portraits of public figures accompanied by music, Mr Blair nominated 'Crossroads Blues', by the...

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Scotland's Italian connection

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John McEwen applauds the 'Age of Titian' in Edinburgh, and other Festival treats S ir Timothy Clifford celebrates the completion of the Playfair Project, uniting the...

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Centuries of co-existence

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Petroc Trelawny Gibraltar Rock: British Fortress, Jewish Haven The Jewish Museum, Camden Town, London NW!, until 31 October T here has been a Jewish community on Gibraltar...

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Art of darkness

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Michael Tanner A ppalled but not surprised by accounts I've read of the new production of Pars ifal in Bayreuth, by Christoph Schlingensief, and apprehensive about the...

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Let's twist again

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Mark Steyn The Village 114, selected cinemas C ole Porter liked to write his songs by .....deciding the ending and then working up to it. But they don't play that way — they...

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Mad, stupid or brilliant

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Lloyd Evans Squalor Pentameters Well Hung Canal Cafe Theatre Singin' in the Rain Sadler's Wells I n Edinburgh there are 1,695 new shows opening this month. In London there are...

Mission impossible

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Michael Vestey Uor a family that saw itself as a ruling 1 dynasty, the Kennedys have always been remarkably reckless. Joe Kennedy Snr made his fortune largely from bootlegging...

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The pity of war

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James Delingpole A part from The Sopranos (back on E4) .quite the biggest treat on TV this week was Whicker's War (Channel 4. Monday), the first in a two-part series about Alan...

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Rover's return

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Alan Judd I s poor old Rover on his last legs, waiting for the car vet to put him down? Sadly, the car vet — a partner in that large and formidable practice called Market...

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Herring still for tea?

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Simon Courtauld crack likes a herring for his tea,' I J remember, years ago, our gardener's wife used to say. That was before herring stocks crashed in the 1970s and the...

Athenian gold

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Taki Athens T he first gold medal goes to The Spectator for last week's leader 'First gold to Greece'. My country had been unfairly maligned by Western hacks — those pure...

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Oracle in the Post Office

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Jeremy Clarke T he late Douglas Adams once said: 'I love writing to deadlines. I particularly enjoy listening to the sound they make as they go whooshing by.' The deadline for...

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Ten seconds to glow

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FRANK KEATING S kip (hop or jump) anything else in the Olympics, but try not to miss the final of the 100 metres this Sunday. The eruptive coruscation will not take up too much...

Q. I would welcome your advice. I called a friend

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on her mobile telephone to ask her for some information and, although she was driving, she answered the call. A vigilant police officer noticed that she was breaking the law and...

Q. We were invited by the son of an old

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friend to celebrate his 50th birthday at a party at his house. It was a 'landmark' birthday, so we took a bottle of very old and very expensive brandy as our gift. Although we...

Q. To KS of Sydney (anxious to find a systematic

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way of rereading the heaps of Spectator clippings he or she puts aside as too good to bin), your advice (14 August) that your correspondent paste one clipping to the lavatory...