23 SEPTEMBER 1995

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PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK

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M r Eddie George, the Governor of the Bank of England, said that he was no longer pressing Mr Kenneth Clarke, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, to raise inter- est rates. At the...

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POLITICS

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Why shouldn't we pay a fiver for accidentally summoning an ambulance? It's politics, stupid BORIS JOHNSON I t was no one's fault. But somehow mat- ters became a little out of...

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DIARY

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RICHARD LITTLEJOHN M ost people tuning in to The Last Night of the Proms on BBC 1, I would imag- ine, had never heard of Sir Harrison Birtwistle. The inclusion of his work for...

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ANOTHER VOICE

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Show your Gold Card to prove that you are a full member of the species Homo sapiens CHARLES MOORE L ast week the Daily Mail ran a pair of articles on the same day jointly...

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FULL OF EASTERN MENACE

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Anne Applebaum foretells the consequences of American messianism and Chinese intransigence: a new Cold War Beijing IMAGINE JAPAN with a billion people. Even worse, imagine...

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Wiff of the week

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Mr George Walter BADLEY, of The Old Hall Nursing Home, Northorpe Lane, Halton Holgate, Spilsby, Lincs., formerly of Welham House, Hundleby Road, Spilsby, who died on 11 December...

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WORLD LEADERS IN MUTILATION

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John Simpson explains why the British Government is blocking international efforts to ban anti personnel mines Salzburg THERE SHOULD, I remember thinking, be a special hell...

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WHOSE MONEY IS IT ANYWAY?

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John Laughland argues that the Thatcherites' opposition to European monetary union is vitiated by a fatal flaw OLD CANARDS never die; even when they seem to have been...

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ULSTER: WHERE DERRIDA MEETS ORWELL

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Jenny McCartney supplies a glossary for the Northern Ireland peace process' Belfast LIKE A stagnant pond, motionless to the naked eye, the stalemate in the Northern Ireland...

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If symptoms

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persist.. . I HAVE just returned from the fourth World Conference of Women in Peking, where I was poisoned by piety. It was a great relief to get back to my ward, where people...

THE DEATH OF POLITICS

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Robin Harris asks what is the point of party conferences when the Labour and Tory leaders both despise political ideas THE LUDICROUS interlude of the Lib- eral Party...

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Mind your language

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`GOD HELP anyone subjected to a peace process,' said my husband sud- denly the other day, looking up from his breakfast newspaper. 'The Bosnians have had it for four years, now...

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Fifty years ago

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By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept. By Elizabeth Smart. (Edi- tions Poetry London. Nicholson and Watson. 6s.) It would perhaps be easy to criticise this book — and...

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`GOT ANY IDEAS?

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CALL THIS NUMBER' Reginald Potterton reveals how American companies fleece British inventors. He knows. He did it Florida I AM, or was, a crook. My field was the inventions...

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AND ANOTHER THING

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Where civic commonsense is bliss, 'tis folly to be Wise PAUL JOHNSON M y heart goes out to Tony Blair in his battle to rescue Labour from its Nean- derthals. There are still...

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CITY AND SUBURBAN

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With cat-like tread, the men from the ministry come back to call on Lord Archer CHRISTOPHER FILDES I t is no pleasure to be questioned by the Department of Trade and...

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Sir: May I• draw your readers' attention to a recent

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euphemism for abortion used by Miss Polly Toynbee on Channel 4 televi- sion? Miss Toynbee's phrase was 'not carry- ing on with the pregnancy'. Note how this phrase — unlike...

Sir: I have been meaning to write to con- gratulate

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and to thank you for writing 'All you need is life' (17 June). My brothers were born with Down's syndrome in the 1940s. One is now 51; the other died in his 20s. I am deeply...

The babykillers

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Sir: Anne Applebaum's comments on the UN women's conference in Beijing were, for the most part, welcome and wise (Feminism: the final form of western Imperi- alism', 9...

LETTERS Civil Waugh

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Sir: It puzzles me that Auberon Waugh finds nothing to admire in the work of Gilbert and George (Another voice, 16 September). I often think that their art is exactly like his...

Burnside broadside

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Sir: The content and innuendo of Kevin Myers's article (What you see is what you get', 16 September) on the 'tribal' charac- teristics of a number of Ulster Unionists, including...

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Please note

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Sir: Nigel Nicolson is very censorious about the display of antiquities in the Ashmolean Museum (Long life, 2 September). Had he read the numerous notices in the galleries and...

Those were the days

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Sir: I suspect you published Ms Bose's provocative piece (`Enough guilt for every- one', 19 August) in order to attract some nice rotten eggs from your readers. To equate...

A doctor writes

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Sir: I am a retired surgeon. John Studd's letter (26 August) reminds me of a dilem- ma that faces the operator occasionally, one with which your readers may not be familiar. You...

Eight-legged egghead

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Sir: 'Do octopuses have souls?' Simon Jenkins asked, while failing to spear his din- ner on the Mediterranean sea-bed (Centre point, 9 September). Hard to say, but what they do...

Inveterate letter-writer

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Sir: May I be allowed to reply to Michael Sissons' apoplectic attack upon myself and others (The wrongs of animal rights', 2 September)? If he believes that the current...

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CENTRE POINT

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The Bloomsbury group's one bankable, collective asset: sex s MON JENKINS H ere, at last, is the big one. In London next week a film opens with the pithy title of Carrington....

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AUTUMN BOOKS

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We are all cousins Anthony Gottlieb DARWIN'S DANGEROUS IDEA: EVOLUTION AND THE MEANINGS OF LIFE by Daniel C. Dennett Allen Lane, £25, pp. 586 I t is an old story worth...

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Enthusiasm moves the world

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Charles Moore BLAKE by Peter Ackroyd Sinclair-Stevenson, £20, pp. 399 I n any biography of a neglected genius, the people who come off worst are those of the man's...

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Getting and spending

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Claus von Mow PAINFULLY RICH: J. PAUL GETTY AND HIS HEIRS by John Pearson Macmillan, £17.50, pp. 309 T he late J. Paul Getty, the principal subject of this book, liked a good...

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The professor and the flower

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Jane Gardam THE BLUE FLOWER by Penelope Fitzgerald Flamingo, £14.99, pp. 225 'Novels arise out of the shortcomings of history' is the epigraph by Fritz von Hardenberg of this...

The stranger after the funeral

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Isabel Colegate HIDDEN LIVES: A FAMILY MEMOIR by Margaret Forster Viking, £16, pp. 308 G uth is a common legacy of parents. We remember their last sad years and for- get the...

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A Call

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`Hold on,' she said, 'I'll just run out and get him. The weather here's so good, he took the chance To do a bit of weeding.' So I saw him Down on his hands and knees beside the...

Twisting the knife away

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Penelope Lively YESTERDAY IN THE BACK LANE by Bernice Rubens Little, Brown, £15.99, pp 247 A s an admirer of resounding opening sentences I warmed at once to this: 'My name is...

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One great moment, one great line

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Norman Stone LIFE SENTENCE by Hartley Shawcross Constable, £20, pp. 346 N ostalgia for the Fifties is in order. You could rent a flat in Hampstead for £3 per week, the...

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Alternative comedy, unfortunately

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Michael Bywater GRANTCHESTER GRIND by Tom Sharpe Deutsch, Secker & Warburg, £14.99, pp. 342 M any years have gone by since Tom Sharpe's last book. There have been rumours,...

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Two faces at once

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John Fowles THE PRESTIGE by Christopher Priest Touchstone, £15.99, pp. 404 T he literary world has grown so clever that to call a novel a good yarn would evoke distaste at...

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Putting in the bits he left out

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Willis Hall STREETS AHEAD by Keith Waterhouse Hodder, £16.99, pp. 247 A nyone must needs be barking mad that could imagine I might risk jeopardis- ing a writing partnership...

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Loyal to several faults

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Craig Brown TWO LIVES: THE POLITICAL AND BUSINESS CAREER OF EDWARD DU CANN by Edward du Cann Images Publishing, £17.95, pp. 288 T he name of Sir Edward du Cann tends to pop...

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The play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of

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. . . Harry Mount MORALITY PLAY by Barry Unsworth Hamish Hamilton, £14.99, pp. 192 T he greatest problem of the novel set in the past is to get the conversation right. Do...

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The dominion of the family

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Hilary Mantel O ne of the first difficulties in writing about Ivy Compton-Burnett is how to refer to her — how to deal with a name which breaks the rhythm of any sentence,...

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ARTS

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M us ic Let's hear it for Harrison Robin Holloway acclaims Birtwistle's primeval inspiration T he closing span of this year's Centenni- al Proms has been distinguished by pre-...

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Theatre

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The Letter (Lyric, Hammersmith) The Glass Menagerie (Donmar Warehouse) Suspiciously well-timed Sheridan Morley S omerset Maugham's The Letter is probably now best known (if...

Opera

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Arianna (Royal Opera House) Carmen (London Coliseum) Waiting for Bacchus Rupert Christiansen T wo hours ten minutes in a theatre with- out an interval, as Charles Duff's...

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Cinema

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Apollo (`13', selected cinemas) Skewering the moment Mark Steyn I can dimly recall watching the progress of NASA's ill-fated 1970 moonshot on TV — or, at least, I dimly...

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Television

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Too many aliens Ian Hislop S unday evening is already compulsory viewing because of the consistently excel- lent The Death of Yugoslavia (BBC2, 9.10 p.m.). But for those who...

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Not motoring

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Sleeping around Gavin Stamp C ars represent individual freedom while trains and buses are socialist and collectivist. That, at least, is what purports to be the thinking...

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High life

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Thanks Air Engiadina Taki A though it is out of season, Gstaad has never been more pleasant. The weather has improved, the towelheads have gone back to eating their dates in...

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Low life

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Missionary services Jeffrey Bernard T he sum total of trivialities that go to make up my life as it is at the moment don't fill me with self-pity; I have learnt to revel in...

Half life

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Blackhead humour Carole Morin S tupidity is a powerful weapon. It's not the mobile phones that make me want to commit suicide, it's the conversations you're forced to listen...

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Long life

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Heirs to The Land Nigel Nicolson T he Peking manifesto on women's rights insisted that sisters should benefit with their brothers from whatever their parents bequeath to them,...

BRIDGE

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Can you count? Andrew Robson THE GREATEST breakthrough to one's bridge is acquiring the ability to count and thus to reconstruct the hidden hands. I rec- ommend short cuts:...

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EVERY WEEK restaurants open. Not all do well, and even

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those which do well enough often never really emerge from obscurity. I don't know quite what it is that makes certain restaurants become talked about, become not merely places...

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CHESS

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Cunctator Raymond Keene THE FIRST SIX GAMES of the Kasparov—Anand World Championship match in New York have ended in draws. Many experts before the match predicted that...

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J 1114L1 YIP gOltli .1111

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URA 11/ 11%411 , 11111(111(N.N111(1 COMPETITION BUFT Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 1899 you were invited to supply an item from a gossip col- umn exemplifying the acronym...

CROSSWORD

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A first prize of £25 and a bottle of Graham's Late Bottled Vintage 1988 Port for the first correct solution opened on 9 October, with two runners-up prizes of £15 (or, for UK...

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SPECTATOR SPORT

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Magic moments Simon Barnes HOW LESS than extraordinary, I thought, ripping the Jiffy bag open over the Lavazza: a book. In the Zone, read the title, unamaz- ingly enough. But...

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

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Dear Mary.. . Q. A neighbour of mine in the country is having a dance in a few weeks' time and I have offered to have a number of people to stay. My eldest son has informed me...