'It's lovely once you get in.' M r John Smith, the leader of the Labour Party, was in trouble with his pro- posals for internal one-man-one-vote rules. Mrs Margaret Beckett, the...

The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WCIN 2LL Telephone: 071-405 1706; Telex 27124; Fax 071-242 0603 NEW NAMES, OLD FACES F rom a distance, the events in Moscow last week...

By acting bravely, Mr Smith may yet become brave MATTHEW PARRIS L et me through! I'm a doctor!' This has been the shout missing as Liberal Democrats in Torquay, and now Labour...

ALAN WATKINS M , r Tony Benn has had enough politi- cal obituaries already, and I do not propose to add to them. I was more interested in what he had to say about his reading...

Some suitably eminent candidates for the political asylum CHARLES MOORE W hy is it,' asks Matthew Parris in the latest Sunday Telegraph, 'that in the Telegraph and The...

Christopher Fildes argues that Kenneth Clarke must forge an economic policy on purpose rather than by accident, and that he must preach austerity Washington THE JAPANESE...

Charles Glass tries to talk to Charles Glass tries to talk to the man who will police the new Palestine Amman 'THE INTERVIEW is over,' the short man in the dark suit said....

John Patten suggests some education has too little intellectual rigour about it, but is confident of improvements I'D LIKE more people to study science. I'd like more of them...

Vicki Woods achieves her ambition to meet Lady Thatcher 'SHE DOESN'T need hair and she'll bring her own clothes,' said Belinda, 'so she only wants make-up. And she wants to be...

Alasdair Palmer attempts to referee the claims and counter-claims of rival graphologists 'YOU KNOW, of course, that you can have no secrets from me if I agree to ana- lyse...

THE Institute of Journalists, at their annual Conference on Friday week, received M. Zola, the French realistic novelist, who delivered an address on "Anonymity in Journalism."...

persist. . . IT IS A well-known fact that one of the best preservatives against ill health is self-employment. The self-employed cannot afford to be ill, while those in the...

THERE'S NOWT so queer as amateur philologists. A friend of mind on the Telegraph is constantly plagued by a doctor who keeps writing to him insist- ing that the word homosexual...

Not enough apples left to carry on the Number Ten picnic PAUL JOHNSON W ell: how long can he last? That is the question everybody is asking about John Major. Even his last...

for the headmastership of Eton (or on any other for that matter), I do not feel able to dispute your description of it as 'dismal'. I must, however, challenge your compari- son...

Sir: The only thing I share with whoever wrote your leader on the Headmasters Conference (18 September) is enjoyment in using the English language. I wish I were in as...

Sir: It would be difficult to imagine a televi- sion programme more likely to incur the acerbic displeasure of the late Sir Huw Wheldon than the lecture (an extract of which you...

12 Months 6 Months UK 0 £77.00 0 £39.00 Europe (airmail) 0 £88.00 CI £44.00 USA Airspeed 0 US$125 0 US$63.00 USA Airmail 0 US$175 0 US$88 Rest of Airmail 0 £111.00 0...

Take Your Partner Free to your choice of nearly 200 country house hotels, inns and private country houses. Again, and again (and again). The Spectator and Johansens, publishers...

Mais oü sont les neiges d'antan? Nigel Spivey THE TWO CULTURES by C. P. Snow Cambridge, £5.95, pp. 180 I was just learning to walk when C. P. Snow delivered this lecture,...

Ian Aitken WILSON: THE AUTHORISED LIFE by Philip Ziegler Weidenfeld, L19.95, pp. 518 B y no means the least complimentary thing one can say of Philip Ziegler's biogra- phy of...

Pan Paperbacks supplied the reading matter: Boldness Be My Friend, The Wooden Horse, Enemy Coast Ahead by Wing-Commander Guy Gibson V.C. D.S.O. D.F.C. and bar, The Colditz...

Anthony Daniels THE UKIMWI ROAD by Dervla Murphy John Murray, £16.99, pp. 278 D ervla Murphy presents herself as a bluff, straight-talking, average and normal person who just...

Adam Mars-Jones A SIEGEL FILM by Don Siegel Faber, 120, pp. 500 W henever Don Siegel was offered a terrible script for a project that for some reason he wanted to be involved...

Lesley Glaister AUTOBIOPSY by Bernice Rubens Sinclair - Stevenson, £14.99, pp. 231 M artin Peabody, a promising but unproductive young novelist, is invited to pay his last...

William Leith THE VICAR OF SORROWS by A. N. Wilson Sinclair-Stevenson, .£14.99, pp. 391 T his is a story about an ineffectual vicar, Francis Kreer, who loses his faith in God,...

Con Coughlin TAKEN ON TRUST by Terry Waite hrodder, .f14.99, pp. 320 T erry Waite is annoyed that his reappearance on the public stage has received less than rapturous...

Tim Parks A TUSCAN CHILDHOOD by Kinta Beevor Viking, .04.99, pp. 267 H ere's a curious tale. Penniless painter Aubrey Waterfield marries rich Lina Duff Gordon Young in 1903....

Gerald Jacobs FIMA by Amos Oz Chatto & Windus, £15.99, pp. 298 I wonder how strongly Amos Oz identi- fies with Fima, the eponymous dreamer around whom he has woven his new...

Cinema 1 A certain audacity ortunately I am not an actor who ever got into the habit of refusing film roles, holding that if one doesn't read the script in advance, or ever...

American Art in the 20th Century 1970-1993 (Saatchi Gallery, till 12 December) American Prints (Fine Art Society, till 9 October) Agnes Martin (Serpentine Gallery, till 24...

from 2 October to 3 November and includes most of those men- tioned here. Sheridan Morley's biography, Robert My Father, was published two weeks ago by Weidenfeld & Nicolson at...

Big and bluesy Martin Gayford O nce upon a time, the joints of Ameri- ca jumped to the music of a resourceful band of individualists: solo piano players. These came in all...

20th Century Silver: Fine Silver for the Table from 17 Countries (Crafts Council Gallery, till 7 November) Beauty and foolishness Tanya Harrod U ntil the 15th century the...

The Fugitive ('12', selected cinemas) All woman Mark Steyn I n America, Like Water for Chocolate is the year's highest-grossing foreign language film — though, to be...

regular critics THEATRE Absence of War, Olivier (071 928 2252), 2 October. The Labour Party election drama that completes David Hare's 'State of the Nation' trilogy. It joins...

Lines from Life: The Art of Franciszka Themerson (Royal Festival Hall, till 7 November) The way she walked John Henshall R eaders with long memories may recall that five...

Daddy knew best Taki I haven't followed this Martin Amis brouhaha, but when I read that his mar- riage had gone down Swanee, I remem- bered something my dear old father told...

Tough, fat and fanciable Martyn Harris Q uite a few women seem to fancy Robbie Coltrane, a fact I have always taken to indicate that there is hope for us all. A fat,...

Blackpool blues Nigel Nicolson A t one of the post-war Tory confer- ences, David Maxwell-Fyfe was chosen to invite the leader of the party, Winston Churchill, to give his...

in recent memory, serve us excellently as an illustration of the changing shape of fashion and taste. Just as the fortunes of the nation's taxi-drivers are said to reflect the...

Raymond Keene g0Doluam SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA WEEK THREE of the Times World Chess Championship saw Nigel Short facing the disadvantage of playing twice with the black pieces....

description of a sporting event by an ex-cookery writer, or a cookery piece by an ex-sportsperson, in which the language of the writer's former trade is inappropriately...

N I TOMAGNO • NOW / VEIT E A B N A ' S H - Y E Rt S B 1J E L NO MODI A VISIL T CIO 0 L 0 LIINIE_ T T_A R S A 'G E RINE E ZEWiEED R E A S .T S U M !IN E R C VT4 -1 7 'A R...

W J. GRAHAM'S —) PORT W J. r )GRAHAM'S PORT A first prize of £20 and a bottle of Graham's Malvedos 1979 Vintage Port for the first correct solution opened on 18 October,...

Anthony Burgess once reviewed one of his own books. You are invited to supply a review of his or her own work, in thor- oughly characteristic style, by a well- known writer,...

A long hard slog Frank Keating UP TO TOWN this week for our annual cricket lunch at The Spectator and adieu to a funny-peculiar, soggy, but certainly singu- lar, summer. And...

• • Dear Mary. Q. A close friend's teenage son has a mad- dening way of looking down at the carpet When he is speaking to one. How can I cure him of this affectation...