4 JUNE 1994

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PORTRAIT OF THE WEEK

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Asking for it. M r John Major, the Prime Minister, speaking during a campaign, called for 'a sensible new approach, varying when it needs to, multi-track, multi-speed, multi-...

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SPECTATOR

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The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL Telephone: 071-405 1706; Telex 27124; Fax 071-242 0603 THEY SEEK HIM HERE It is perfectly true that the Government has been...

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POLITICS

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One good reason to have the European elections SIMON HEFFER F ollowing Mr Major's assault on mendi- cants, and his passionate plea that the sen- tence on the murderers of...

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DIARY

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NIGEL DEMPSTER W hat a dreary occasion Derby Day has become. The first Wednesday in June, when the Blue Riband of the Turf (as Dis- raeli called the classic race) is...

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ANOTHER VOICE

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Time to lobby to be left alone CHARLES MOORE M rs Virginia Bottomley is not normal- ly the heroine of this paper, but I gather that it was she, almost single-handedly, who...

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WE ARE ALL SCEPTICS NOW

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John Simpson says that there is no conflict between patriotism and supporting the European union `What line do you take on Europe?' I asked a Conservative backbencher last...

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BY LAND, SEA AND AIR - EVENTUALLY

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Norman Stone argues that D-Day came too late to be considered a complete triumph THERE IS a phrase in German that has its uses: Gott wird nicht verspottet, which means 'God is...

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If symptoms

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persist.. I AM NOT by any means an Islamic scholar, and therefore cannot comment on what the verses in the Koran with regard to the treatment of women really mean; but I...

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THE RETURN OF THE HAYSEED

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stopped Bill Clinton from loving the English New York I DO NOT know the state of English salu- tations today, but when I went up to Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar in 1978, exactly...

Mind your language

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I HAVE never knowingly kibbled an onion, and I shouldn't know how to go about it if I was asked to. I only came across the word when I looked at the back of a tub of not...

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SPECTATOR

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AND ST P, d' PIIHJSE ST I \ \\, present the following special offers for Spectator readers 3 nights in St. Petersburg at the Grand Hotel Europe Whether in the white nights...

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APATHY BUOYANT

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Laurence Baron spends a dispiriting day on the election trail TO WEEP excessively for the dead may be an affront to the living, but the opportuni- ty to do so for John Smith...

The Daily Mail — correction

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In an article last week headed 'A dead clever way to make money', we reported that the Daily Mail had offered Rose- mary West close to £250,000 for her story and had 'purchased...

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EVERYTHING IN A PIE

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MAKE YOUR brass in the West Riding, farm in the East Riding, build your house in the North Riding. That was the old adage, and it captures part of the essence of what is called,...

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WEETABIX WAYS AT THE BBC

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W.C. Woodland on how Birtism W.C. Woodland on how Birtism drove him back to the union SOME YEARS ago, when applying for a bank loan for the purpose of what the under-manager...

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One hundred years ago

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MEN engaged in an election, local edi- tors especially, are a good deal too ready to believe that anything may be said of candidates with impunity, and Mr. Walter Morrison, in...

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AND ANOTHER THING

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The political vultures gather for their D-Day feast on the dead PAUL JOHNSON A the D-day celebrations move to their climax, and the Draft Dodger, the Grey Man and the Old...

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A Warburg speciality

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THAT IS a description, not a rank, and a Warburg speciality. The uncles are sup- posed to have retired, have no executive posts, do not sit on the board — but come in just the...

No time for lunch

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THE BREAKTHROUGH came after- wards, when they were able to help a big British company sort out its interests in Europe: 'Through our knowledge of the continental scene, a number...

CITY AND SUBURBAN

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Great Uncle Henry celebrates his birthday by going in to work CHRISTOPHER FILDES H enry Grunfeld has been marking the week of his 90th birthday by going to the office, as...

Burning ambition

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THAT WAS when he met Siegmund War- burg. He, too, was making a new start, with what was then called the New Trading Company — 'a horrible name', Mr Grun- feld reflects, 'the...

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LETTERS Tanked up

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Sir: I don't recall seeing Taki around, but I covered the fall of Saigon for the Observer and watched James Fenton, whom he was abusing in last week's column (High life, 21...

Books for Bosnia

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Sir: Last February I suggested in The Spec- tator that a suitable way for British people to mark the end of the siege of Sarajevo would be to help restore the collection of the...

SPECTAT THE OR SUBSCRIBE TODAY - RATES

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12 Months 6 Months UK D £80.00 0 £41.00 Europe (airmail) 0 £91.00 0 £46.00 USA Airspeed El US$130 0 US$66.00 USA Airmail 0 US$175 0 US$88 Rest of Airmail 0 £111.00 0 £55.50...

TV commercial

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Sir: Edward Whitley (`Reverse charge at Br, 21 May) almost had me calling for a big hankie and violins. Poor old BT, which can't afford to install a fibre optic network because...

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In the dark

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Sir: I wonder whether you knew that it is possible to read The Spectator in the fluo- rescent light of a night-club? Nils Fluck Epsom Downs, Surrey

Three-point turn

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Sir: I would like to make three points in connection with the three letters published on 28 May: 1. It ought to be made crystal clear that the 35 signatories (of whom I was one)...

Local knowledge

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Sir: Your article 'Welcome to chameleon country' (5 March) by Matthew Engel, and its reference to the most beautiful Northamptonshire village of Eydon we (its residents) think,...

Expert witness

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Sir: Your columnist, Auberon Waugh, (Another voice, 28 May) may be interested to hear that when the Guardian recently took part in a pan-European readership survey on sex and...

Sir: Theodore Dalrytnple's jaundiced views on the contemporary NHS are

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so riddled with bias that it is difficult to know where to begin. In summary, he seems to be saying that the NHS used to be much better than it is now, getting rid of most of...

Good prescription

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Sir: One's first reaction after reading Dr Theodore Dalrymple's article (Doctors, patients and other nuisances', 21 May) is impotent fury. Then however, one must wonder what are...

Sir: Mr Auberon Waugh suggests that the Bible supports the

The Spectator

shooting of burglars. He laments, too, modern neglect of Bible-read- ing. That is as may be, but the text he refers to (Exodus xxii 2) is followed in the very next verse by an...

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CENTRE POINT

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Don't vote in next week's European elections SIMON JENKINS I shall not vote in next week's European elections. I do not believe in them. Every British party secretly despises...

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BOOKS

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Not such a good place James Buchan A WORLD ELSEWHERE by Bernard Levin Cape, £16.99, pp. 236 S it Thomas More's Utopia, which was written in Latin and published in Louvain in...

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In love with the productions of his time

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John Osborne KICKING AGAINST THE PRICKS by Oscar Lewenstein Nick Hem Books, £17.99, pp. 210 V ery few people understand the function of a theatre producer, which is not...

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The dotty earl wins through

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Bevis Hillier LORD LONGFORD: A LIFE by Peter Stanford Heinemann, £20, pp. 502 P eter Stanford can be forgiven for not having read what Michael McNay wrote about Lord Longford...

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Tabula Rasa

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At eighty, he set himself the task of repainting his rooms. He worked slowly, wheezing up and down the folding steps. He chose the blue of his old cricket club tie; the...

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In a Majorcan Garden

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An aestivating snail unwittingly was caught in the firm crotch of a young and virile fig-tree. How could the languid molusk know towards the end of a moist and well-meandered...

Carrie and the bucaneer

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David Caute IN LOVE AND ANGER: A VIEW OF THE SIXTIES by Andrew Sinclair Sinclair-Stevenson, £17.99, pp. 310 D ear Andrew, Some years ago your publisher sent me a postcard...

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A drunk with a conscience

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Raymond Carr SCOTT FITZGERALD by Jeffrey Meyers Macmillan, L77.99, pp. 288 J effrey Meyers would reverse Professor Stone's striking aphorism, 'Never trust a man who does not...

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Washed up and on the rocks

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Harriet Waugh NO NIGHT IS TOO LONG by Barbara Vine Viking, £15, pp. 320 A bout ten years ago Ruth Rendell went through a golden patch in her novel- writing. She was producing...

Not absolutely spot on

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Nicholas Fleming NO RETREAT by John Bowen Sinclair-Stevenson, £14.99, pp. 309 h ere is a new genre of thriller emerg- ing, its premise 'what if Hitler had won the war?' Len...

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ARTS

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Television Opportunities missed hen I read Bryan Appleyard's con- sidered howl-down of the Late Show in the pages of this magazine it prompted me to reflect on my own...

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Jazz

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Star spotting Martin Gayford I n the early days of jazz, great things were done by soloists barely into long trousers — Louis Armstrong at 20, Charlie Parker at 19. It was...

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Pop music

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Big bounty for dinosaurs Marcus Berkmann T here's still no news from the Beatles or Led Zeppelin, but on the lower slopes of rock's reunion craze these are still wild and...

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Theatre

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Whoop Dee-Doo (King's Head) The Bed Before Yesterday (Almeida) Arcadia (Haymarket) Strange cocktail Sheridan Morley h e Atlantic crossing can still prove sur- prisingly...

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Cinema

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No Escape (`15', selected cinemas) A Business Affair (`15', selected cinemas) Tears before bedtime Mark Steyn ' Don't think,' a fellow jailbird advises Ray Liotta in No...

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Television

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Fever pitch Martyn Harris F ootball is the passport to instant street cred for the middle class male. I know this because I've always wanted to be interested in soccer, always...

High life

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A shattering picture Taki Athens talingrad', a German made film now playing in London, is the best war film ever made. It does for the infantry what The Boat did for submarine...

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Low life

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Birthday bores Jeffrey Bernard H ere I ' am celebrating yet another birthday I never thought I would see and one which must be a source of great irrita- tion to the medical...

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Long life

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Liberating Rome Nigel Nicolson F ifty years ago this week, on 4 June 1944, Rome surrendered to the Allies. Alexander, the Commander-in-Chief, sug- gested to Churchill that it...

SPECTATOR

The Spectator

The Spectator index for July to December 1993 is now available. r Please send copies of the following indexes at £6 each (UK), £7 (overseas) inc. p&p. July - Dec 1993...

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Imperative cooking: there's no place like home

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LIATLAT4L IMPERATIVE cooks don't like eating in restaurants. These inevitably cater for the aggregate diner whose tastes are, well, aggregate. They are also given to literally...

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CODD MU

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SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA atom CHESS SPAIN'S FINEST CAVA Absent friend Raymond Keene IN SPITE of his brilliant triumph in Linares, Anatoly Karpov has not demons- trated the same...

COMPETITION

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Conman Jaspistos IN COMPETITION NO. 1832 you were invited to write a story for which `Conman' could be the title, containing a dozen words of four letters or more beginning...

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CROSSWORD by Doc

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W.AJ. G RAHAM'S PORT GRAHAM'S PORT 1162: Mind them! A first prize of £25 and a bottle of Graham's Malvedos 1979 Vintage Port for the first correct solution opened on 20...

Solution to 1159: Displaced persons 's i, . aninna. In in

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7 . nem AiNnEenen,no A 0 OFAR ooryelerm. N OBE is alum On v 0 T on nu _10 kl R , E C T , id A S nun i Er r EijnOlo P Earl H R N A H UninirlaR A il A LIU S M T A 0 R...

No. 1835: Children's corner

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`I wish I were a jellyfish/ That cannot fall. downstairs . . .' wrote G.K. Chesterton. You are invited to write a poem for children (maximum 16 lines) beginning 'I wish I were...

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SPECTATOR SPORT

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Less appeal for the fancy Frank Keating LIKE THOSE shopping-spree figures which are always millions of pounds more than two years before, I do not remotely believe the Surrey...

YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED

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Dear Mary.. . Q. How can we prevent our Dutch au pair girl from drinking too much? She eats nor- mal amounts of food but is constantly pour- ing bottles of Aqua Libra, Perrier...