28 APRIL 2001, page 63

Crisis At United

Simon Barnes AT the end of a bad week at the office, the well-adjusted man is supposed to kick the cat. Roy Keane, the captain of Manchester United, kicked Alfie Haaland.......

Q. Since Acquiring A Property In Switzerland, I Have Become

an enthusiastic `Swiss kisser' — i.e., I greet ladies with whom I am moderately familiar on an equal or quasi-equal basis with three proper kisses on the cheek, in the sequence......

Q. A Minor Gaffe (14 April) But, As Geoffrey Madan

(sic) noted, 'Two languages are universally understood: love and gaffes.' Anyway, you're the lucky one — you will know just how to excuse it. Lower John Street, London W1 A. No,......

Q. I Recently Attended A Weekend Party In The Country...

versity friends. Since some of them had to travel a long way home by train, I happily offered my house for the night to a few, so that they could take the journey at a less......