Passion fashion

Justin Marozzi has noticed that politicians, bankers and computer people are all 'passionate' about their policies and products Passion, I see, is catching,' Antony remarks in Julius Caesar; and now everyone seems to be going down with it. Politicians, banks, telecorns and travel companies, public relations firms, insurers, magazine subeditors, even the Co-op, never known for its romantic flair, have all succumbed to the plague.

Passion assails us daily on the airwaves, flaunts itself vacuously in job advertisements, billboards and newspapers. We listen to our political leaders, sports personalities and celebrities, corporate giants, advertisers and local councils professing their passion for everything from public-service reform and Portuguese villas to integrated parking solutions and diversity awareness programmes.

No doubt these people take their lead from our Prime Minister, To judge by his public utterances, Tony Blair is by far the most emotional politician of recent times. Beneath the calm exterior, he has a lot of love to give. 'I am passionate about reform,' he told the Labour party conference of 2002. He has also been passionate about — in no particular order — Europe, the relationship between Britain and America, Europe and America, equal opportunity and foundation hospitals. On the subject of weapons of mass destruction, he cranked up the emotion even higher. 'I am completely passionate on this,' he said.

When the Prime Minister himself speaks with such intensity, the rest of us follow suit. No wonder that twerps like Ian McCartney, the Labour party chairman, confidently announce their passion for 'a strong partnership between the unions and a Labour government'. In a way, it's admirable — who else could get passionate about something so totally destructive to the libido?

But politicians should not shoulder all the blame for this lazy and increasingly hackneyed, even deceitful, use of language. The corporate world is guilty, too. Take Deutsche Bank's much vaunted 'Passion to Perform'. Deutsche Bank has been looking for a finance and accounting analyst starting September this year. 'At Deutsche Bank we share your passion to out-think, out-smart, out-perform,' says the advertisement. 'It's this passion that makes us one of the world's leading financial institutions.' Nothing to do with the billions of dollars of our money sitting in your accounts, then.

Co-op Bank. meanwhile, is simply 'passionate about excellence'.

Reviewing Triodos Bank, 'one of Europe's leading ethical banks', in a puff piece for Authentic Business, Neil Croft (author of Authentic: How to Make a Living by Being Yourself) writes: `Triodos are so passionate about the causes they work with that they will look for the most appropriate fund-raising vehicle for the project offering venture funding, share and bond issues as well as loans where appropriate.'

American companies, as you would expect, have already gone one better. Where once they were content with their own passion for their products, they now expect the customer to share their fervour. The American Stock Exchange, for example, wants you to be 'passionate about blue chips'.

Passion has even infiltrated telecoms companies. Aizad Hussain, managing director of NTL Home, is 'passionate about restoring Nil's customer service levels throughout the UK and Ireland'. Register for the Times online and you will be told, 'We're passionate about securing great promotions and offers for you, but we also respect your privacy.'

Even computer companies have caught the love bug. Microsoft, for example, has started promising to change our lives with 'Your potential, Our passion'. Not to be outdone, IBM says it is 'Passionate about diversity'. Indeed, this is now a strategic mission. 'We're passionate and almost maniacal in this regard,' according to Lisa Baird, vice-president, Worldwide Integrated Marketing Communications. Had you been unlucky enough to sit through a 'keynote address' entitled 'Diversity in Engineering: Managing the Workforce of the Future' a while back, you would have heard Nicholas Donofrio, IBM's senior vice-president, technology and manufacturing, express his passion for 'engineers and scientists'. Just in case there were any feminists in the audience, Mr Donofrio was quick to emphasise that he was 'just as passionate about women in technology'.

Churchill insurance is also 'very passionate about our vision & values'. Yet sometimes — and this is the problem with passion — this burning affection is unrequited. A dissatisfied Churchill policyholder left an Internet posting headlined 'Passionate about wasting my time' and said the company was only passionate about being 'totally unhelpful'.

Herein lies the danger, says Dominic Mills, editorial director of Campaign and Marketing magazines. 'Companies are offering a real hostage to fortune when they talk about passion, particularly if they are a service company. Every time I see an HSBC bank-teller not being passionate about his job — and why should he be? — the bank's in trouble because it's not delivering on its promise. It's a real issue.'

The most obvious danger in using a word like passion in this corporate context is that results rarely meet expectations. To test this theory I called Passionate Media Relations, a West Midlands PR company. Instead of enlightenment I was met with an answer machine. Vociferous about Voicemail? Not what I'd hoped for from a company whose website says: 'Our pledge to you is that you won't find a better service.' Someone left me a message later, but when I called back the next day, it was BT Call Minder again. Eventually I was telephoned by Linda Jones, the company's director. She said she was 'passionate about people, passionate about business and passionate about getting it right. We're passionate about changing journalists' perceptions about PR companies.' Answering the phone would have been a start.

There is hope for those of us who cringe at the first mention of political or corporate passion. Dominic Mills thinks passion outside the bedroom has reached its sellby date. 'It's become a very devalued word, misused where it's not appropriate and abused in the sense that it has become a default word. It's terribly depressing.' In other words, Passion will go out of fashion. But once we have rid the world of it, what next? Across the Atlantic, the ever optimistic inventors of management-speak are already becoming 'obsessive', 'maniacal' and 'intense' about customer service. Mr Mills thinks 'fascistic' may be a possibility.

But whatever comes next, politicians and companies, you have been warned. We don't believe in your passion. If I haven't convinced you, take heed of Dorothy Parker.

By the time you say you're his, Shivering and sighing And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying — Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying.

Justin Marozzi's history of Tamerlane will be published by HarperCollins in August.