CHILDREN'S FRIENDSHIPS.
'WE need not consult the biography of the author of " Alice in Wonderland " for evidence that he i n ler- stood the way to win the affections of little girls like Alice herself. He began, as we read, by being serious and polite ; his manner, as all who knew him will remember, was com- posed, even to a certain primness of demeanour, and the humour which lay under the surface was reserved for the hours of matured confidence, and never exhibited as a means of attraction in the early stages of acquaintance. "Grown. ups," and especially men, are at a great disadvantage in winning the affections of children, for the latter are critical
over a wide range, and only appreciative over a narrow one ; wherefore those who seek their regard, and ultimately their affection, have ten chances of making a blunder which will be remembered against one of scoring a success of the posi- tive kind. The greatest mistake of all, perhaps, is to try to be amusing. An error in all cases where the speaker has not got the social measure of his company, it is nowhere more coldly received than by children, who have in perfection the art of being severely literal when they disapprove of a joke, are intensely sensitive to being laughed at, easily interpret what they only half understand, as "chaff," and only like people because they are "nice," and never because they are clever. They are, as a rule, shy of accepting services, partly because they do not like it to be thought that they cannot do things for themselves; and are vastly careful, if they do, that it shall not be looked upon as involving a claim on their regard. When they discover for themselves that a grown-np person is not only friendly but useful, foundations for solid affection are often laid. But the benefits conferred must come impersonally. And those who can carry this atmo- sphere of goodwill and services as part of themselves, and inseparable as the shadow under a tree, find that children unconsciously gather to them. Then, if they pass in the final examination which the closer relations render possible, they may be rewarded by warm, and even adoring, devotion, which lasts sometimes beyond the time " when stream and river meet." Though it often passes away after -childhood, the affection of children for their elders outside their family circle has an advantage over that between maturer friends. Once won, it is easily kept. Little hearts, once unlocked, are ever open to the magic key, and eager to see and to add spontaneously fresh merits to those who have engaged their love. They are perfectly true, and distance does not diminish affection. Surprise and joy will almost overwhelm them when the object of this unoevenanted affection reappears suddenly after absence.
The signs and tokens of emotion are perfectly spontaneous, and often most prettily expressed, and the chances are in favour of this deep affection having for its object some
grown-up friend, and not a child. " It's my beloved Uncle
Tom !" exclaimed one little girl, her face quite flushed with emotion, as the happy object of this attachment (who will never see fifty again) suddenly presented himself to an adoring little niece.
Ladies have an advantage over the other sex in the general competition for the liking of children. They are gentler, they are more attractively dressed ; and children are par- ticularly sensitive to colour and texture in dress, hating things harsh to the touch ; and women are much easier to make companions of —at the start—and do not seem to be doing it "on purpose." Later, men friends have perhaps equal chances ; for they are acknowledged to be almost the best children's story tellers, and this is a mighty power, potent over their minds and affections. For the really gifted child's storyteller, master of his art, will provide all the material for their fancy to play with daily and improve upon. He will create a whole world, not necessarily a large world, but one which will satisfy all their powers of imagination, people it with other children, and animals, who do as he wishes, think as he desires, and are identified by his hearers with 'themselves and himself in a way which must create the closest bonds of mutual interests and responsibilities. These are not ',fleeting impressions. Greater (in their world) than those who make the songs of a nation are those who provide the stories for their children friends. For these stories, once made, are never :forgotten. They are repeated, by request, as often as the maker will provide them ; the characters may develop, but must remain the same, for good or bad; and the best beloved children, animals, or others in these epics of the nursery may be as edify- ing and didactic as the teller likes to make them. If their united example tends to incline his hearers to regard the author as a person deserving of their affec- tion, who can blame his artful rhetoric ? Its object is to please, and by pleasing to gain its reward, the liking of the listeners.
The love of children won by elders who are neither parents nor close relations is a special compliment, because they cannot compete with children in that physical beauty which has so great an attraction for other children. This is
the direct and spontaneous motive which induces love, alto at first sight, between young children themselves. except in the case of young and lovely women, we can hat believe that children see much beauty in their female eld or in men at all. The point of view from which they see 13 against this supposition. Those who are blessed with g looks are too tall, in comparison with them, ever to be s to advantage. To be looking up at giants, seeing tl features foreshortened from below, the least becoming all points for the human face, cannot give them a pleas impression. Neither do we see the beauty of child to the best advantage as we look down on their faces fc shortened from above. That is why the beauty of pre children always appears irresistible when they are in bed, their faces seen as they lie on their pillows, or even in sl€ The astonishing beauty of some children at such times pas that of any other human creatures ; it is a faith, freely c feesed by those who know it, and one to which those who not, succumb with the frankest and most ungrudgi candour. But the effect of this childish beauty, great a: is on us, is magical when seen by one young child in anoih Where both children are beautiful there is perfect adoratic for so much beauty, and so little to detract from it—a very few little girls of from three to six or seven have ma failings—strikes them as denoting almost perfection. physical fact that there is no disparity in size, that ti look level into each other's faces, and see each in t other those gifts of beauty which they are accustom to hear their elders so frankly praise, combined with the qualities of daintiness and refinement for which they the selves have no name, but which they value at their tr worth, makes an irresistible appeal to their love. Childr who are so happy as to enjoy such companionship live in kind of fairyland. They have almost the reality of the fai in their friend, and fancy and imagination, intensified by t suggestions of the other mind which unites in make-belie, supply the rest. These cases of love at first sight betwe children do not lead to camaraderie of the enterprise kind, or partnerships for activities in games, or gardenin or romps, but are contemplative and quiet. They are co tent and happy to be in each other's company, are oft almost embarrassed when they meet, love walking togetn hand-in-hand, and find more to say of each other w parted than to each other when together. When the ages different the spell of beauty is no less potent, and is ackn ledged in the frankest and most delightful manner. little children who are beautiful are adored by those a f years older, and nearly always return this in kind.
whole of the old pictorial treatment of the subject of young St. John and the infant Christ, though it is in form of religious adoration, has for real motive this mut recognition of beauty and the instant kindling of love beta two young children. See, for instance, in Leonardo Vinci's "Our Lady of the Rocks " (No. 1,093 in the Natio
Gallery), or in a less degree in the Garvagh " Madonn (Raphael); where the Christ gives the other child a pin " playing" with a pink is only the comment of the catalog —it is the tribute of the younger to the elder child. Neit is the insistence on spiritual admiration, so constant in child pictures of the old painters, and in part the result their own emotions, soothed by the expression of tb mystic and consoling legends in exquisite pictorial.
without justification in the basis of children's fre ship and deep affection. Ae they see and admire, w'
out ability to express it, the qualities of refinerc and serenity in their child friends, so they are dee sensitive to the spiritual beauty of their faces, of whi
love, contentment, and simplicity, are the " mould form," and on which the struggle of the world, or knowledge that all is not for the best, has set single mark. Worry, perplexity, or differences are tensely distressing to young children, who feel, wit comprehending, them. As we enjoy the contemplation
the beauty of which the absence of knowledge of t things forms a part, so also do children appreciate tb
They, too, love the unruffled brow, and the skin like petals of the rose, and the atmosphere of love and peg the other child, and invest it almost unconsciously with attributes of another and diviner world.
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