THE PRESS
Ballade of a Jaded Reader
By JOHN WELLS
When I was at a soft and tender age I read the public prints with wild delight; I beamed with glee or started up in rage To see, set out in black, crisp grey, and white Herr Pitmann's heavy-handed Sittlichkeit Or Levin's fearless stand to save the West— Even with Simple's gentle dentured bite The change would be far better than the rest.
But now I lift the grey and porous page With less tempestuous frenzy than I might.
Like old baboons confined within a cage They climb the same old columns night by night.
The paper's other beasts pace Left or Right Predictable, depressing and depressed.
We long for them to snarl a bit, or fight; The change would be far better than the rest.
Perhaps the Telegraph, that tedious sage,
Could bid the black Rhodesians unite;
The Express might mount the international stage Embrace the General, or get him tight:, The Tablet might employ G. Greene to write Their grammar notes or take a pill to test; • And though our first reaction might be slight
The change would be far better than the rest.
ENVOI Prints of the Morning, Lunchtime and Late Night Why not all go on strike, that would be best: And though that idle prospect might seem bright The change would be far better than the rest.
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