SIR. —John Rowan Wilson advocates petting to orgasm as a teenage
substitute for normal sexual intercourse. Well, yes, it's safer—no unwanted pregnancies or infections--but there is something he has forgotten or more probably never knew.
For women, petting to orgasm can have long-term effects. When I was working as a hospital nurse. I met many women who were suffering from them: now, as a viournalist receiving a great many letters asking for advice and help. I still hear of them. The effects are these: a woman who during the pre- marital years—and I emphasise the word years— becomes accustomed to achieving sexual satisfaction from manual stimulation often finds when she is married, and normal sexual intercourse is not only permitted but considered desirable, that satisfaction eludes her. Far too many women—to be as blunt as John Rowan Wilson said he would be--find that following intercourse they must either ask their partners to complete their satisfaction manually or. if they are unlucky enough to have selfish partners, must do so for themselves. Or suffer acute frustration.
Naturally enough. I have had few opportunities to discover whether there is any increase in male impotence as a result of years of petting to orgasm; it would be interesting to know whether men, with their more urgent drives and ability to achieve pleasure without emotional involvement (denied to the average woman). have suffered in this way.
In the meantime. I know too many women who used Dr Wilson's surrogate. and are still seeking the original pleasure they missed as a consequence. Quite what I shall tell my daughter I have not yet decided--she is just six, so I have a few months' breathing space—but I certainly won't tell her what Dr Wilson would tell his. I want my daughter to enjoy her life properly. There are too many glossy substitutes around as it is--leave the poor girls something.
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