TOPIGS OF THE DAY.
HOW JOHN GETS THROUGH THE SESSION.
"I Am afraid you are not strong enough for the place, John," is a well-remembered phrase ; and in practice it has proved to be true so far as the service went, but it has not proved true so far as the candidate himself was concerned—John is quite strong enough for the place as it is made for him. Of course, he owes this to the general kindness that he meets with ; for John is a general favourite. Not a soul would hurt a hair of his administration or would not do the utmost to render the place easy and comfort- ,
able. Hence John gets on better, and feels more safe, than many a stronger man might do. So much security may make him a little
saucy at times ; but his sauciness is precisely the trait that is most liked in him. Sydney Smith used to say that he was a very plucky fellow ; and when he can be stirred up to pitch into Dis- raeli or Roebuck, it is meat and drink to his friends.
Now he could not do this unless he met with such kindness all round. To look at him, carrying himself as he does, you would hardly think that he could go alone or could get through the day ; but then he does not go alone. Everybody is anxious for dear little Johnny; though the anxiety is shown in different ways. One encourages him, another removes stumblingblocks out of his way, a third gives him timely reproof, a fourth goes and intercedes for him with his mistress, a fifth sets him on his legs again when he falls; if anything is broken,roken, a host of tongues are ready to cry out that it was not John who did it, but " the cat " ; and among the rest, his indulgent mistress is always ready to forget and for- give, and to take him back again as often as he likes.
No longer ago than Friday last week, one of these interesting scenes occurred. John had been more troublesome than he had been for a long while, all about the Income-tax ; insisting not only upon keeping it, but on not letting it go to be mended. Good old Joseph Hume, who has one of the best hearts in the world, saw that this would not do ; so he took the matter in hand : he seized hold of John, made him give up his favourite tax to be examined, and administered a good sound punishment. There was an in- stant uproar in the House : the poor Radicals, who are very fond of their spoiled child, were in a " fantigue "—they said that "fume was trying John too hard, and that he would be really hurt. Richard Cobden, who can be severe enough himself at times, could not forbear from rating Joseph pretty soundly for his harshness. But it was all right. At the very next sitting, John made it quite straight about the Income-tax ; and he has behaved pretty well ever since.
A. philosopher has said, that in getting children out of their naughtiness, the great difficulty is "to reconcile them to them- selves" : but this is not so difficult when everybody helps, as we saw on Monday night. There were all John's friends patting him on the back ; and there was Disraeli, as usual, pretending to fight, in his playful way, so as to cover the penitent's confusion or any other little solecisms, and indeed quite enabling him to ahow-offi We all know the special and superabundant joy over a sinner that re- penteth ; and John has too long been taught the privileges of the- penitent not to have earned them by the necessary diligence in sinning. On Monday night he was more prized than any man in- nocent of Income-tax enormities could hope to be—as dear to the doting as a convicted felon to pious old ladies.
Indeed, he knows how to make the most of every opportunity.. It was but last Tuesday night that Roebuck, who takes his share in the good work by volunteering as schoolmaster, gravely called John up, and read him a severe lecture on his behaviour in general, and in particular on his having put up with so many affronts lately."You cannot carry on the service," said Roebuck, " if you demean yourself to let the House be continually taking you to task, calling you in all directions at once, and hindering you in your work. Of course you can't ; and you had better give warn- ing than go on so." This was all said with the earnestness and sternness of the most fatherly interest; and John rewarded the reproof with instant amendment. He put on his most spirited bearing, and, selecting Roebuck for his object, at once showed-of all that he could do in the way of fighting. He thanked Roebuck for his "good intentions," in a way that made the House laugh again; declared that he was able to take care of his own character;. said that he should resign when he pleased, but that he knew his value in the House—he knew he was the only one who could take charge of Free-trade, and Roebuck himself had said so. In one word, though a vulgar one, he amplified " Marry come up !" into a smart House of Commons "reply," and played off the boy of spirit on the discomfited schoolmaster so as to delight all beholders. Thus it is that John is able to get through his work. Hume sets him right when he is wrong, Roebuck teaches him to read,. Cobden defends him when he is put upon, Disraeli helps him to show fight, the Protectionist party consents to play " the cat," the Radicals protect him against having measures too large put upon his shoulders ; even when he gets into his No-Popery tantrums,. the whole House conspires to shield him against the consequen- ces. And now, what with the effect of Disraeli's kicking Protec- tion out of his path, Hume'a setting him right about the Income- tax, the Free-traders vouching for him as "the only genuine," Roebuck's drilling him to stand up like a man and answer smartly —with these helps, the general feeling is, that, incredible as it would have seemed at the beginning, he will really be able to get through the session.
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