Q. Close friends have enlisted my help in cramming their
son for his Common Entrance next year. He is hopeless at science, a subject I myself taught before having children. I am naturally delighted to help the little chap, but have to admit that my nose is slightly out of joint since his parents have assumed that I will not want to be paid. I have committed myself to giving him two hours per week until such time as he is up to scratch, but since term started in September I have received, for my pains, a large bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk and a pound of green grapes, both handed over by my charge and apparently bought out of his own pocket money. How can I tactfully suggest to the parents that payment in cash — the going rate is at least £10 per hour — would be more appropriate?
A.H., Edinburgh
A. Enlist the help of a mutual friend who should telephone the parents to inquire whether they would recommend your services
for her own child. When they reply in the affirmative, she should say, 'And how much do you pay?' When they say, `Oh, nothing, we're old friends,' this third party can object, 'Oh, she's a great friend of mine, too, but I think we should pay her, don't you? Otherwise it does nothing for her self-esteem.'
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