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Dear Maly Q. Two years ago I purchased a pair of Beretta shotguns which are 'over and under'. In the shooting field this caused others to peer suspiciously down their noses at my gleaming new barrels. Generally it is only acceptable to arrive at a shoot with antique guns and when asked about your weapons' provenance to remark that 'they were made for grandfather in 1906 when we had our estate in Norfolk'. With my Purdeys consigned to the safe I quickly got used to the modern comforts of the Spanish guns which shoot fast and accurately with no recoil. To make them blend in better I had the shiny stocks changed to English walnut and the gold triggers changed to faded silver and then the family crest engraved into a gilded oval in the stocks. Even after these changes my fellow shooters still glance suspiciously at my arsenal. What can I say to make my companions more at home with my new weapons? Should I travel to each shoot by horse and carriage, thus showing some sort of attempt to provide a reference with a bygone era?
Name and address withheld A. I have consulted Noll Uloth, of country outfitters Cord ings of Piccadilly, for advice on this query. He replies: 'Some say over and under guns are easier to use than the side by sides. To visualise the difference between the guns, think of putting your fingers parallel together and imagine bullets coming out of the tips of your fingers. It is more difficult to get the aim right, but if you turn your fingers so that one is on top of the other, you can see why it might be easier to hit that way and why they have been traditionally frowned upon — they give birds less of a sporting chance. However, the most important thing is to shoot safely and sportingly and if you shoot cleanly and well, no one will question your weapon of choice. The biggest faux pas is to keep shooting low birds or to keep clipping birds' wings. Far better to be a good shot with an over and under than a poor shot with a side by side, and i f you find yourself somewhere where the type of gun you use is more important than how you shoot, find another shoot.'
Q. What does one do with relations of once impeccable demeanour whose tablemanners in their twilight years have become uninhibited? I squirm when we have to sit down together and they wonder why I have suddenly become so grumpy.
B.T., Norfolk A. Where there is no humane way to correct someone else's behaviour you must work on your own and rise above these dreadful ordeals with affection and good cheet: You may one day find yourself in your old relation's predicament so the best policy is to set a good example now, pre-emptively, for others to follow You could lighten the load with the assistance of weak ea/plugs and frosty spectacles.
Q. My oldest brother is coming up to his 70th birthday this weekend. I am nearly distraught and cannot think what to give him as he is already loaded with material goods and chattels.
A.B., London W8 A. If he is 70, presumably he was born in 1937. Pop into Michael Coins in Hillgate Street, London WS. He will supply you with a 1937 penny for 50 pence and a leather-style presentation box for £3. Your brother can then compare the scratches and chinks on the coin with those on his own person.
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