BALLADE OF A NEW UNIVERSITY
Solouuls whose names to Learning lustre lend, Patrons whose humble votary I am, St. Thomas More and his illustrious friend The great Erasmus, light of Rotterdam, Bentley and Gray and Johnson, "the Great Cham,"— All these would have denounced indignantly The spite of those who denigrate and damn (While envying it) the Mulgrave Ph.D.
Do not believe the critics wtio contend (Because I work in secret like a clam) It's just a stunt they do not comprehend That such a job is anything but jam! By the way, I have sent a cablegram —As Rector of the University— To India, to his Highness the Nizam, Offering him the Mulgrave Ph.D.
No years of study need our graduates spend Beside the banks of Isis or of Cam: Here are no lecture-courses to attend, No overloaded syllabus to cram. What do you say? The who12 thing is a sham?
Such base aspersions do not worry me. (It just shows how magnanimous I am.) Wouldn't you like a Mulgrave Ph.D.?
ENvoi Prince, you have failed five times in your exam., Yet crave a University degree?
I can assist you (thanks to Uncle Sam): Deign to accept a Mulgrave Ph.D.!
JOHN W. HARVEY.
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